I'm white, he's black. Is it wrong? My mom does NOT approve at all. She actually doesn't know I am dating him because of her beliefs. I don't tell many people because I'm scared of what they will say or do. I'm scared that they will disown me. There are so many racists out there, including most of the teachers in my school. When I'm with him in school, there is always fuss. Black teachers yell at us, as well as white teachers. That's just when we are holding hands. It gets really discouraging for me, and it makes me sad. I don't see him for his color, I see him for his personality. And yes, I do love him. There are some bad things about him that not many people would approve of, but he treats me good. He doesn't beat me (like a lot of white people think black people do to their girlfriends) he doesn't force sex on me or any kind of sexual act, he is just as good as any regular guy. What I am scared of, though, is that he is in a gang. He gets arrested a lot and tells me he's always fighting. He knows how I feel about his fighting and jail time. He said he wishes he didn't join the gang because he can't get out now. If I tell my mom that, she will send me off to some kind of all white boarding school. He says he loves me, too. Sometimes I want to break up with him because he is bad, but he is a really sweet, caring guy and that's what keeps me hanging on. I really don't want to break up with him. Its like, the people around me are PRESSURING me to end the relationship. Advice?
There are two issues to address here.
Firstly, speaking as someone who has been in an interracial relationship, you shouldn't give up yours because of other people's prejudices. There is no place for racism in modern day society and you are doing nothing wrong. If you love and value this person, race should be irrelevant.
However, clearly it's a tough situation. People are always going to be against you and it doesn't help that your own mother is one of those people. You need to make it clear to her that her racist attitude is wrong. If you can't be in this relationship without hiding and keeping it a secret, then there's no point. If you love this guy you should be proud to be with him. Be prepared for the fall-out though.
The second issue is the fact that he is in a gang. This is a serious thing to get mixed up in and regardless of race, you need to assess whether or not it's safe for you. If YOU want to break up with him because of his involvement with gangs then that's your decision. You shouldn't break up with him because other people want you to.
Your relationship isn't illegal and it's disgusting that in 2010 people can't accept a loving relationship just because of the colour of someone's skin.
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(Rating: 5)
thank you. you are right. and i will continue to think about this gang-life and if it's bad for me. i shouldn't break up with him because of other people. i have some heavy thinking to do. 5 stars for great advice
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