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I'm 21 years old, have had my share of different types of relationships so I enjoy answering love life questions. Whether it's about getting closer emotionally or physically don't hesitate to ask, hopefully I'll be able to help. I also love the medical field and will be a registered nurse soon. If you have any questions regarding a recent medical diagnosis (don't ask for one please, not a doctor) I can help you better understand it and the treatment as well
advice
okay. sooo i read your advice to this one girl and i really liked it and i\'m about to tell you the entire story of my relationship (7 months) (things i\'m too scared to tell my friends) and i just wanna see what you say.
alright. i am a fourteen year old girl (freshman) and the guy is a sixteen year old boy (sophomore). it all started about ten months ago when i met him. we\'ll call him jack. (not his real name) and i saw him playing baseball last summer and i thought he was cute. when school started we talked because of a mutual friend. one football game he looked at me and smiled and after the football game we went to bdubs and just talked. after another football game (i\'m a cheerleader) he talked to me and asked for my number. we texted and talked and hung out in groups for about three months and then he asked me out.
I was really really really happy. then one night about a month in he told me about a certain time with his ex girlfriend, and how he had fingered her. i was kinda upset by this but i don\'t really think i had a right to be. it\'s just before we started dating i had never kissed or done anything with a boy and i didn\'t want him to expect anything like that from me. he told me he didn\'t and that he valued our relathionship more than the physical stuff. and i believed him. thing is, i let him finger me. i wouldn\'t say he pressured me into it at all. he would try to slip his hand down there every once in a while and i would stop him, until one night i wanted him to do it and he did. things were fine. about anothere two months later, i gave him a handjob. he kind of asked for that... then we didn\'t go a lot farther for awhile but our relationship started to get really rocky. he would be a complete ass to me sometimes and it felt like all i ever did was annoy him or embarrass him and it sucked. when i went out of town he went out to lunch with this girl kacy. nothing happened, but i was still mad cuz he didn\'t wanna tell me about it. she was the one that asked him and there was anohter guy there but jack and kacy used to like eachother and she\'s constantly flirting with him. jack and i would just fight all the time and it sucked. we almost broke up but he said he was gonna try harder and he did. and things were slowly starting to get better. just four days before he broke up with me (he brok up with me on tuesday) he told me he felt so much happier and that he could tell things were better.
But i\'m skipping a part... a week before we broke up i gave him a blowjob. i didn\'t really wanna do it but i felt almost kind of guilted into it. let\'s just say i\'m really bad at handjobs and i stopped giving them. well he kept fingering me and he could make it feel sooo good. he told me we had been dating for six months and that i should be comfortable enough with him to give him a blowjob. that he felt like the physical part of our relationship was completely one sided. And that made sense to me so i did it... i trusted him when i did it and i wanted to make him happy and he broke up with me in a text message a week later. i don\'t even get why he did it when four days prior he told me how much happier he was...
well its been a few days since we broke up. and i found out that after we broke up on tuesday he alrady started talking to this new girl on thursday. that just hurt really bad... i thought i wanted him back but i don\'t think i do anymore. i just gave so much of myself to this guy and i\'m so hurt right noww because it seems like those seven months didn\'t mean anything to him at all.
i just don\'t know what to do... and i would really appreciate any advice you can give me. thing is i can\'t talk about this stuff with my friends because i\'m too ashamed to tell them that we did all that physical stuff... so please don\'t involve the advice doing that. i really don\'t want to.
I don't want you to tell your friends about the stuff you did with him, but i do want you to not be ashamed of what you did (I'll tell you why later).
Out of the whole story there was something missing. You talked about how you went from kissing to 2nd to 3rd (Base). "Love" is what was missing. You never told me about when you knew you loved him or that he loved you. I know what your thinking, "You don't have to love someone to do stuff with them". But i bring it up because it's so much safer, trusting someone is a big part of being in love with someone.
That is what you should go for in your future relationships. Before you get caught up in the physical part you should take time to think about where you think the relationship is going.
If your with a guy like Jack who is lying about hanging out with other girls and seems more interested in getting to the physical part than wanting to get to know you more and make you happy (In other ways). Then it wouldn't be the best thing to do right?
Now here's your answer: You need to start moving on. You were right you did give a lot to this guy, and that's why it's not going to be easy. He might come around and say it was a mistake and he wants to get back together; and it's going to be so easy to say yes but i suggest you say no. Why? For yourself. You need to get back up on your own and not let him who dropped you pick you up.
The first thing i told you was that i didn't want you to tell your friends about what you did with him. That's because your in high school and it doesn't exactly help that your a cheerleader. I say that because you probably have a lot of friends and what you say to one will find it's way to another and eventually to people you don't even know. Even though they're your friends it's none of they're business, so don't worry about it.
And last; Don't think any less of your self because of how far you went with your ex, nothing good will come of that. If you have any questions feel free to ask. Bye and Gl
(Rating: 5) i guess saying that i loved him would have been important... and at the time i thought i did. buttt im starting to think that maybe i dont really know what love is... I'm pretty young. Thank you so much for not telling me im a slut and that its my own fault im so miserable right now... cuz honestly, thats what my friends would say. i dont have any close friends on the squad, i just love to cheer. my friends are all really goody goody and theyd just look at me different cuz everyone in school sees me as this "good girl" and i guess i opened up a lot to Jack by showing him a part of me that not a lot of ppl know is there. haha well thank you for your advice, but i don't think he wants me back. he had sex with a girl last weekend but i don't think im that upset... maybe cuz the girl he had it with has about four STDs ;) hahaha. i can already tell im getting over him but it is pretty tough... alright well thanks! youve definitely given me the best advice of the bunch...