TheAnnie's advice column

Hey, what's up? My name is Annie.

I work in a neurobiology lab and I love my job. I will do my best to help you! Also don't be afraid to ask me a question or a clarification to any advice I give you. I get email updates so they WILL get answered.

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I watch my boyfriends five year old little girl she tells me no she isnt going to do something and she wont. today she threw a cookies on the floor i thought it was an acident so pick them up. then goes a can of chip... alittle fishy i clean them up again. next goes her pizza and all her food on her plate... this time i catch her she is doing it on purpose. i tell her five mins of time out she says no.... i say it three more times nicely and she says no. i give her a choice time out or bed time she says neither. so i pick her up take her to the bed room i dont loose my temper i do it calmy and tell her i will see her in the morning goodnight then walk out.

she screams kicks throws stuff now i am mad i hear things falling and hitting the wall... i go in tell her to get into bed and go to sleep now. she jumps in bed then she starts kicking and sreaming begging me no bed time.

I decide its way to early for bed but she can sit in there for 15 mins if she is good she can get up and try again.

15 mins later she is till throwing a fit so i say ok 7 oclock go to bed fine with me. finaly she calms down.

but i have had these fits before and the same results the end in bed time or nap time. i would throw it up to her just being tired but it cant just be that they happen 30 mins after nap time when she is wound up.

how do i deal with this with out spanking.. ignoring this behavoir isnt safe or possible... help me......

I agree with the previous advice on getting your boyfriend involved. Although I have some other suggestions.

I wonder...does she listen to her dad? If he tells her to stop does she? If she does then the problem is that she doesn't respect you enough to listen to you. If that is the case then there are ways you can fix it. You can try to ask your bf to tell her to listen to you. Maybe if she is told to listen to you she will. Also, does your bf use the same methods of discipline as you? For example, if she isn't familiar with the concept of a time out then she won't be afraid of one. Ask him what he does to get her to listen.

I would also advise you to not lose hope. It's fun for her to see what she can get away with. It's her job to test the limits. If you give in even a little bit (such as telling her it's bedtime, then deciding it's too early for bed) then she'll only try it again because she'll know you give in. So you have to be consistant and try your hardest to not give in. No means no and if you have to tell her in a stern voice, then so be it. This also goes with her dropping her food. First, give her food that are a easy clean up and give her a little bit. Tell her that if she throws it then she won't get more or that she won't say get the pizza. Another idea I have is to try to put her in a room where there aren't many toys or things she can move around. If she is in a room without this then she will have no choice but to eventually stop.

Also here are some sites that might help:
http://www.parentingideas.org/
http://childparenting.about.com/od/childdevelopment/a/fiveyearoldhome_3.htm
http://www.wholefamily.com/aboutyourkids/child/discipline_13_srqa.html

I really hope that helps! Best of luck!

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(Rating: 5) thanks for all the help, things have gotten better in the last few days, she doesnt misbehave for dad cause she not around him long enough to

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