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Due to assholes on the site and people who have no idea what the hell they are talking about I have left the site. Ahem, Dangernerd...Who likes to make assumptions about people when they do not know them ;) Then has brass balls to go search up whatever information he can gather so he has back fire to use whenever he feels like starting a little hissy fit. Let me remind those who read this, Dangernerd has a nasty tendency of using what you post on the site against you if you where to ever have a problem with someone on the site. Mind you, He likes to gather false information in a way that he thinks will benefit him in the long run. This site is run by someone who doesn't have class, Who likes to pigeon hole people. The same guy who supposedly is running an "ADVICE" column but somehow has pre-teens asking about sex and how to do sexual things to their "partners" this site is also filled with people giving advice that is NOT helpful or use full in any form rather than most encouraging the young ones. Well lets get to the bottom of it, This site is a laughing matter. Dangernerd is a joke and couldn't be a bigger clown ;)
advice
22/f here. My ex, Nathan, is 24, and my current, Kyle, is 28. This is gonna be a bit long...
I was with Nathan for about 4 years on and off. He was emotionally abusive, but I was addicted to him. Being in the mental health field, I know a lot about addiction and how to overcome it. I broke up with him. We ended things on good terms, but I asked him to let me initiate contact at some point in the future. He has broken this agreement many times already with e-mails telling me how much he loves and misses me.
Now, Kyle and I dated during an off-period with Nathan, but I ended it because I wasn't ready to walk away from Nathan, and I recognized that. I am now, though, and I did...right back into Kyle's arms. Kyle is a wonderful man, and makes me very happy (and is a very good kisser ^_^). I have no intention of leaving him anytime soon.
The problem here is that as much as Kyle denies it, I know I have yet to earn his trust back because of the fiasco that happened with Nathan before. I told him I would keep him in the loop if Nathan decided to try anything, and ideally, Kyle and I would discuss the situation and tackle it as a couple/unit instead of me trying to handle it alone. (I did, however, promise that I would never put them together in any physical way...)
My questions are:
1. Should I tell Kyle about Nathan's recent e-mails?
It risks bringing up a very negative past, and I don't want the focus of our relationship to be how to get Nathan out of it.
2. Should I respond to an e-mail and ask him to leave me alone?
I'm hesitant about this because I know how he works - any attention is better than no attention - but I also know that he doesn't give up easily. The only reason I'm consiering it is that I understand that, legally, if you tell someone to leave you alone and they don't, you can file harrassment charges. I'm not angry at Nathan, or anything, I just don't want him to make my life hell anymore...that's why I broke up with him. I am, however, prepared to take legal action if necessary to get him away from me. He hurt me many times in many ways that could've been seriously psychologially damaging.
Anyway. I apologize for the length of this question, and I'm aware that none of you are lawyers. I'm just looking for some unprofessional, uninvolved feedback on this situation.
If you want to have a healthy relationship with Kyle and not have to deal with drama then DON'T respond to Nathan, Ignore his calls, text, emails, etc. The more you read his emails the more you are going to think about him and the harder it will make having a healthy relationship possible. No, I don't think you should tell Kyle that Nathan emailed you if anything it might cause an argument between the two of you and only make it harder for him to trust you. The next time it happens IGNORE the emails just simply delete them. In time Nathan will realize that you are serious and that you have moved on. If he continues to stalk you, Harass you then this is were you would file for a restraining order. If Kyle treats you right the way you should be treated then that is all that you should be focused on and putting your attention towards.
(Rating: 5) Thank you. Cross your fingers for me.