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I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media I'm from Ireland I dye my hair way too much. I've been blonde,brown,brown with blonde,black,red,and blonde again!I love helping people I found advicenators when I was just 15 and didn't understand the world! I feel I have matured with this site. The people on here are amazing and I love coming on here in my spare time to be there for people in need. I won't tell you what you want to hear because that's not advice it's just fooling yourself. I try to help in whatever way I can I try not to judge and try to relate to a situation if I can. :) If you don't like honesty then you won't like my advice.
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advice
Hi! (this is a bit long, sorry)
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 months. My ex-boyfriend who i broke up with in very early February because of verbal abuse, disrespect, and over affection. My ex. is my current boyfriends best friend. Just great i know.
It's not like i hate my ex boyfriend. I've tried to be nice and i've had him over for movie nights with my other friends, but he always causes trouble, is disrespectful, and is mean to me or insults what movies i pick out. (actually that was only one time, because after that my mom saw how destroyed i was and wouldn't allow me to invite him over, which i was happy to hear) He was still verbally abusive until i told my parents last Tuesday, and so far we haven't really talked. He sent an apology note, and i told him i apriciated the apology, but was not ready to forgive him because i still didn't and don't trust him. He was nice when i first started dating him then because mean and abusive.
My boyfriend is having a movie night tonight and let me know he's inviting me and my ex. (which i respect letting me know that he's invited my ex, but i really wish he wouldn't do that.) I understand they are best friends and i don't think what happened between me and my ex should change their relationship, but i wish he would not invite me and my ex over at the same time AND in the same week that he sent a cruel text and it drew a line with my parents. I really love my boyfriend, but really dislike my ex. No, i've never hated my ex, i just strongly dislike him.
This is also my other problem, none of my other friends like my ex. Just my current boyfriend likes him. My other friends and I can't wait for my ex to move (at the end of the school year) We are all just polite to him. (oh all my friends are guys except for 4 of them, and we have a group of 13 people) So my real question is should i tell my boyfriend about my ex and my history or how it went from good to worse? I don't want to tell him because then i'm being mean about his best friend, but at the same time i don't think he gets what my ex put me through.
~Sky (13/f)
ps. Thank you so much for taking time to read and answer this question!
Okay In my opinion I think you should explain to your boyfriend the reasons why you dislike your ex.
you say you dont want to be mean but you wont be doing that by letting him know how you feel and what happend unless you do it in a very nasty way which you wouldnt be.
In fact he should respect you for it because for 13 your handling of this situation is really mature.
tell him your not out to cause trouble between the two of them just that youd prefer not to be around him and your ex at the same time that it makes you feel uncomfortable and that you've tried to be tolerant but he just keeps being rude and abusive & nobody should have to put up with that.
maybe even your boyfriend could have word or two with him?and ask him why he is being that way.
maybe mention that its not just you that feels that way the rest of the group do too so he doesnt think you just have a grudge against him.
Just be calm and tell him exactly how you feel without being nasty and he should understand I almost garuntee you he will =)
Hope I helped in some way && I hope everything gets sorted and works out good luck!
(Rating: 5) Thank you so much! Sorry it's been awhile. Actually my ex moved FAR away and my boyfriend and I are still together. Thanks again!