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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.[9/2/08] [5/7/08] [16/7/08] [23/9/09] [28/5/10] [29/5/10] [3/6/10]
Laura/22/England
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advice
To start off, this will be extremely long. I will appreciate it greatly if you take the time to read this, and tell me your feedback. So here it goes.. (Ready?)
19/f
This is a long distance relationship.
Well, it started when our 1 year anniversary hit (Nov, 2008). I call him to give him hints about it and he finally figures it out. So I ask don't you care? He says only 2 year anniversaries and up matter.
So it hit my birthday, which was April 6th. He promised me multiple times he'd call me at the set time of 8:30. He doesn't have a cell phone, just a landline right now. So I said ok. I waited at the phone for two hours then suddenly give him a call at 10:30. He picks up and I yelled at him why the hell didn't you call? He said he forgot. And then I said well fine lets talk now then. He said he can't he wants to watch a tv show instead. So yeah I started to cry and said you'd rather watch a tv show than talk to me, especially since it's my birthday?? He said yeahh. So I called him a jerk and hungup. Cried over it the rest of the night of course.
Then he sends me a letter by mail, it was a card. All it was, was a card with a cat on it, I open it up it ends up being some religious card, and at the bottom it says happy birthday. And on the side he wrote you think I am a jerk but I am not. Look at the back, and I find out this is a card he found with a stack of the same cards. And said nothing about he loved me or anything, and expected some sentimentality on it. Showed a couple of friends and they laughed and said yeah, that is pathetic.
So I call his mom upset and said tell her to tell him don't even bother calling me for awhile until he straightens up. I tell her the story so she's obviously going to yell at him.
So, two weeks pass. He hands out the same excuses: "I'm too tired to talk", "I'm eating", "I'm going to bed", "I don't want to talk"... I try calling him. But he doesn't want to talk.
Distraught, I call his mom. I tell her what's going on since we're pretty close. She said she'll try talking to him but she is sure nothing will work. I seriously recommended military school. She tells me his uncle got him into drinking (possibly drugs), so that can explain his anger and apathy. He just wants to sit around all day, drink, watch tv. He doesn't want a job (he's 19), and when he did have interviews he cancelled them. For what reason I don't know. So I broke up with him. It was very hard..
So tonight, after giving him the silent treatment for a few days. I finally give him a call to see how he's doing. Of course I care about him and love him. I worry about him, even though we're not together. I don't know how it started, but we began to fight. He said he wasn't drinking, but he was yelling at me, telling me to f**k off, and I was with my good friend so he assumed I F***ked my friend behing his back. Which isn't true!! I never cheat!! Would never do it! He also threatens me with a gun, and threatens to beat my friend and i up, along with having his uncle to help. I cried hard. I am scared. He's done this before.. but not this bad. And these threats were heard over speakerphone so a few friends heard it as well.
What should I do? Who should I talk to? He lives in TN; I live in OH, so how can this be resolved?
Thank you again for reading. It means a lot to me.. I just need some advice!
Why do you even want this resolved. He clearly doesn't give a damn about you or about himself by the sounds of it.
It's a GOOD thing you aren't with him and I definitely feel you should just forget about wasting time on him and move on.
He didn't treat you nicely and couldn't be bothered with the relationship. Long distance is very hard and you certainly don't need the likes of him to bring you down.
Move on. and find someone who deserves you and WANTS to make you feel special and loved.
Don't bother contacting him again and if he contacts you, do yourself a favour and ignore him.
(Rating: 5) Thanks =]