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advice
Ok guys here's my problem. I'm 16 years old and a sophomore at my local high school. I have been dating my boyfriend (almost 18) for 9 months now. We've had our ups and downs but I've been usually the one causing the downs. I am a big flirt and guys intrest me. I love goofing around and being myself, but my personality is outrageos and flirty. This has landed me awkward positions and back in mine today.
It's not that I like them, but sometimes it leads to me getting a crush. It has happened before. Once was just a simple "Out of state visit" crush and didn't last long. Once to the point where I broke up with my boyfriend to be with someone else. When that wasn't what I wanted I realized how much I really needed my guy.
We had things to sort out but we eventually were back to being us. We were better then ever, and happy to be together.
So things were back to normal. But then, there was another guy that liked me. He's really gorgous and I flirt with him alot. We were at a baseball tourny in NY and I really wanted to flirt. We did. Alot. But I told him to promise me that he wouldn't let me cheat. He agreed. I told my boyfriend about all of this. This guy still erks him and he's still worried when I'm around him. He's just so cute. I can't help myself.
Then something else happened. One of my guy friends got the wrong idea and tried to kiss me! It's not just that he's my friend that makes it wrong, it's the situation behind that. It's who he is. (But I can't get into that) It came as a shock. I didn't kiss him but I kept this from my boyfriend because I didn't want to ruin what we had.
Eventually, we took that next step and I felt that I had to tell him. He wasn't too upset, but he wished that I had told him. I did too.
So things were back to normal. We would fight, be fine and fight again. Usually ended in apoligies and kisses. So here's my current problem.
A friend of the guy that tried to kiss me began talking to me to set straight what had happened. Keep in mind I do know him and he's totally gorgous. (Used to work at Hollister. 18 year old Brazillion...yeah. I know. Hott) Now he's flirting with me and telling me that he thinks I'm beautiful and we talk all the time. He's such a nice friend but sometimes I see myself...actually being with him. It's weird. But we do flirt alot, but I have done nothing wrong. I have never cheated on my boyfriend and I never will.
I have not told my boyfriend about this guy but I don't think I want to. He doesn't have to know about every guy I talk to and I don't want to ruin what we have. I know I'm young and that's why I don't feel so concerned about this.
Please help me. I really don't know what to do. I really do feel like I AM A WHORE and I don't want to feel like that anymore. I can't help the flirting but I do love my boyfriend. It's just...idk.
thanks for helping!
It sounds to me like your problem is one of self-restraint. You can't help yourself from not cheating. Even when you're not aware of it, you're attracting the wrong kind of attention. In the same way that some people learn to be "victims", you've learned to be a flirt-magnet.
Firstly, decide what it is you really want. From the sound of what you're describing, you don't really want your current boyfriend--or any boyfriend. You may decide that a relationship isn't right for you at the moment. That's okay, but if that's the case you need to tell your boyfriend immediately, and act accordingly.
On the other hand, it's possible I have you all wrong, and you really do love your boyfriend and the relationship you're in. If this is the case, you have to stop what you're doing right away. Every flirt, every kiss, every breakup and ensueing fight brings you one step closer to losing the fedility that you value so much. Don't blame it on your personality. Personalities can change, given enough will and effort. You CAN help the flirting, and every time you tell yourself you can't you're defering responsibility.
(Rating: 5) you totally have me pinned. im no used to that
haha lol
thanks
great adivce!