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Whenever a guy calls me pretty, or hot, or even cute I feel really insecure about myself. It annoys me more than anything and I would just rather them notice that I'm funny, or that I'm nice or something. Almost like..I have nothing else thats attractive to you? Anyone else get what I'm talking about? I'm 16 and I've asked my friends and they say NO THAT'S A COMPLIMENT! HE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE!
I'd rather they just not say anything. I feel insecure being around guys that tell me I'm good looking because I feel like if I'm not looking so great at that moment, I have nothing to offer. Do all guys think that girls want to hear "You're hot" because quite frankly, I get distant from guys who say things like that to me.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Well, think of it this way. Say you're shopping for a new car. And you find one that has great gas mileage, top ratings for safety and reliability, a comfortable interior, and fully loaded with all the features you want. And it also happens to be a gorgeous color and really sharp looking. Bonus!
So you take it out, and your friends say, "Wow, your car is so pretty!" Would you be offended, or think they're shallow, because they only mentioned its looks and not its great gas mileage? Of course not! Because you know that the appearance of the car is just the first thing people notice. Surely they know there's other, more important aspects to a car... but unless you tell them about those features, they might not fully appreciate it. They'll only see the outer shell.
It's the same thing with you. Everyone knows that there's a lot more to you than just your looks. But that's what they notice first... and if they admire it, it's only natural to comment on it. Of course they know there are a lot of other qualities that make you who you are. But if you don't let them see what's inside, then how will they know what's there? If you shut yourself off to them just because they say you're pretty, they'll never have the chance to appreciate all your other wonderful qualities. All they'll be able to say is, "Yeah, she's a pretty girl."
So don't blame these guys for saying you're pretty. You are! But you're other things, too. Just think of your beauty, and the interest it sparks, as an opening to show others what else you've got. They'll still think you're pretty, but they'll appreciate the rest of you, too.
(Rating: 5) Thanks for this. Your car analogy made me get what you were talking about. You helped a lot.