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hi well this is about me & my boyfriend.. we both have trust issues..but weve been dating 7 months so we trust each other with everything..but im very paranoid bout him going thru my phone..bc, well my parents split up & now my mom & i are dirt poor, & i cant afford my phone. so, im REALLLY not proud of this, but i send this guy..pictures..& he pays my bills. so he text me last night saying "hey sunshine" & my bf saw it..& he kept asking who that text was from & i was drunk so i said idk then i deleted it. & then he saw i deleted it..& now he says he doesnt trust me anymore bc of me not telling him (he doesnt know about the pics..) & i feel so hurt bc he doesnt trust me anymore (but i would feel the same if the roles were reversed) but i dont have any money and i dont consider it cheating bc idk this person, theyre on another coast, & i have NO feelings for him. but it kills me inside whenever i do it & i want to regain my bfs trust but i just dont know what to do..about any of it..please help??
It looks like you have three separate problems here. So let's talk about each one:
1) Sending the pictures. Well, I probably don't have to tell you all the reasons you shouldn't do this. But I will anyway (haha). First of all, it IS a form of prostitution. You know it's wrong, and you feel crappy about yourself for doing it. But besides that, it could get you into trouble. What if this guy becomes obsessed with you, and decides that pictures aren't enough? He's paying for your cell phone; he might start to feel like you owe him more than just pictures. And if he doesn't already know where you live, he could easily find out. Or, what if he shares these pictures with his buddies, and they somehow get posted somewhere... and your boyfriend/parents/entire school sees them? Besides being totally humiliated (and losing everyone's trust, and getting a terrible reputation), you could get into big trouble with the law. There's been stuff all over the news lately about teens being arrested for distributing child pornography. And it's just going to get worse as law enforcement enlists the help of the phone companies to crack down on this.
You need to stop. Tell this guy that you appreciate his "generosity", but that you're sorry, you're going to have to end this arrangement.
2) Your cell phone. Yeah, you need one. But there's gotta be another way to pay for it. You could get a job; beg your dad, your grandparents, or another relative; ask your boyfriend for help; do odd jobs for your neighbors; talk to a school councelor and ask for suggestions. Talk to your phone company and find a cheaper plan. You might have to give up unlimited texting or something, but at least you'll have a phone for basic use and emergencies. There are people a lot worse off than you who find ways to pay for what they need. If they can do it, so can you.
3) Your boyfriend. Well, I normally recommend telling the truth about everything. But if there's a chance that the "hey sweetheart" thing will blow over (without you having to tell any additional lies), it might be worth just waiting it out. However, if he continues to be convinced that something's going on, you should probably just come clean to him. Break down and cry (you probably wont have to try real hard) and explain the situation. Tell him the only reason you did it is because you really need your phone, to talk to HIM. Tell him how rotten you've felt. And let him know that you've stopped doing it, and won't ever do it again because it made you feel so bad. Yeah, he'll probably be pretty pissed, but hopefully he'll take pity on you and try to understand. Just expect that it could take some time for him to deal with it.
I hope it works out for you. But please, stop sending the pictures.
Edit: Congrats on the job! Good luck! =]
(Rating: 5) this guy lives in cali, i live in VA, so i doubt anyone here would see them. but, i have virgin mobile (pay-as-u-go) so he buys cards and texts the code to me. so i cant call my company to request a cheaper plan, they dont do that. i have been looking for a job, its not like im that lazy haha. but i live in the country like 10 miles from everyone, so odd jobs and asking are obselete, i have no family here besides my mom, who doesnt have $ either. but its ok, bc as of yesterday, i got hired as a waitress :) which pays good at that restruant. i was going to stop sending pics anyways, but now i can pay by myself. thank u for all your help!!