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ok well my bf and i broke up because he doesnt have time for a gf and im moving in a little over a month. its been really painful for me and i dont know what to do. i dont really care about dating him anymore but hes my best friend too and we have been best friends for a while. he knows everything about me but now he doesnt even have time to call me-seriously. he never calls and when he( or i) finally calls he is like im really busy i cant talk now sry we can talk later. i dont know what to do and last sunday he was flirting with me A LOT and we ended up kissing a couple times because we still kinda like each other but its really confusing. the thing that i cant handle is i've never had a friend who didnt even have time to talk to me! we go to different schools and now he never has time to hang out so we barely see each other except at church and youth group. please help me!! he doesnt have time but he means so much to me and i am leaving soon!!! thank you so much and i will rate :)
Awwww, I'm really sorry that he's acting that way. And I know exactly how you feel, because I've been in the same situation. So I think I know what's going on here.
See, I had to move several times during my school years. And every time, the same thing happened. As soon as they found out I was moving, some of my friends - even my closest ones - would start to act distant. Suddenly they didn't have as much time for me, or they started to drift away to other friends. It was almost as if I was already gone. And it hurt so bad! I was going to miss them terribly, and all I wanted was spend as much time with them as possible while I still had the chance. Why didn't they feel the same way?
Well, I eventually realized they DID feel the same way. My moving was going to be as painful for them as it was for me. Once I was gone, things would be different and there'd be a "gap" in their lives. So what they were doing was trying to prepare themselves for life without me. Letting me go slowly just helped them have a head start toward their new life without me there.
I think that's what's happening with your boyfriend/bestfriend. It sounds like you two have been really close, and he was probably devastated when he learned you were moving. If you continued to date, or even stay really involved with each other as friends, it will be even harder for him when you actually leave. So he's just trying to protect himself from being hurt any more than he already has.
I know that doesn't make it any easier, but it might help to understand why he's acting that way.
Anyway... try talking to him about it, or maybe write him a nice note about it. Let him know how important he is to you, and how hard it will be for you to leave him when you move, and how you'd like to spend as much time as possible with him while you still can. He might not realize that his effort to protect his own feelings is actually hurting you even more. However, if he continues to stay distant, just realize that it's only because he's going to miss you so much.
I hope this helps some. And good luck with your move!
(Rating: 5) thanks :) thats really helpful!! but it does still hurt a lot :(