mariahneu's

advice column

about

advice

Okay. I'm sure this question is on here a million times over, and i know the main remedy is to "be yourself", but i need an answer a little bit deeper than that.

I'm not skinny. I'm not horribly fat. I am chubby, but i know i'm not ugly. (i'm not trying to be conceited at all.) my thing is, i have confidence in myself. And though i am self-conscious about my weight, i'm working on that with all i've got. Here's the problem; i'm a junior in high school, and i still don't know how to act around guys. yeah the main problem is my self-consciousness, but now that i'm past that a little, i don't know how to initiate conversation with guys i'm interested in. there are a ton of guys i'd like to get to know, but i have no idea how to go about it.
saying Hey! randomly is a bit bold for me, though my personality is loud. and i always am myself with my friends and in meeting people; but around guys i'm interested in... i clam up. and if i don't know them, i can never initiate anything. because i'm horribly shy when it comes to that.

so if anybody has any advice on...ice breakers i guess? i'd love to hear them all. :)
thanks in advance.

First of all, you need to get rid of your self-consciousness.

I used to be severely self-conscious, until I tried something that I hadn't really thought of before...

I went to the local pool with my friends - wearing a bikini. They'd coaxed me into wearing one cause I'd always wear a one-piece with shorts, or something of that nature, trying to hide everything cause I was so conscious of what others would think about myself.

When I found out that I was the only one that thought that way about myself.

I discarded my fears as soon as I got used to wearing the bikini because it was a big step for me to conquer my consciousness.

I then felt more confident.


If that doesn't work, I'd try joining the speech team at your school - it helps A LOT with your presence, posture, and voice. It makes you more confident when you're speaking as well. After just two weeks of being on the speech team, I'd started to talk to people that I barely even knew, because I gained confidence.


If that doesn't work, try working your way up the "social ladder" at a gradual pace.

Challenge yourself to talk to people that you wouldn't normally talk to - if they find that you're more open and friendly towards them, they'll be talking about you in a positive way.

Pretty soon, you'll have a whole chain of people to talk to, and it won't seem like a phobia or a fear anymore.

[view]