about

Hi there! My name is Heather Marie Warren, I'm 17, and I'm a teen adviser who would like to help answer any questions that you may have about teen life and beyond.

If you need help with anything, please feel free to ask me, or visit my friend's website at www.freewebs.com/bt4t You'll receive lots of support there. Also, feel free to join the site. New members are always welcome.

Please note that I am not a professional adviser but I will do my best to answer any of your questions. I'm currently studying Contract Law, English Literature, Modern History, Maths, Further Maths and Spanish so if you have questions concerning those subjects, I may be able to help.

Thank you

-Heather-

advice

so i've been dating my boyfriend for about 10 months now and at first it seemed like a perfect relationship, but after the summer, things have changed, his mom has led him to change his mind on how he views our relationship and me. She says to him that our relationship is too serious, and that he shouldn't be in a serious relationship during college. So because of this, he feels that i am becoming too needy, too serious (for some reason he has in his mind that i want to get married with him, and he is clearly scared of that fact) and he now wants only to have fun in college (ie. partying, raging, drinking with friends, going to clubs, etc). He has broken up with me twice now (each breakup was only a week long) and every time he wants to get back with me, he says that he really misses me and misses being around me. The first break up was very hard on me, but I took the second one better and was ready to move on, since i convinced myself that he has changed for good and that our relationship will never be the same again. I have decided to give him one more chance in trying to change what has happened, and we set terms that, so far, has made our relationship hold a bit. However, things have changed of course, and he hasn't told his parents that we are back together and it has been a month now and when i ask him why, he says that it'll make my life easier. I also feel that he doesn't treat me as well as before (like flirting with other girls in front of me) and that hurts me, yet he says that it's for fun, but i don't find that a bit fun or funny at all. He doesn't seem to understand that these types of things that he does with me, make me trust him less when he goes out with his friends and is why our relationship is not going smoothly. Also he is very self-conscious about showing affection in public and especially around his friends. I'm not sure if I should/can continue with our changed relationship, but i really still care about him, but wonder if having him as a boyfriend is worth it.

need advice,
Bibi

Hi there,

that's quite a tricky situation. I think the best way forward is for you to show him that your relationship can be fun but it's also a serious commitment. The trouble is, you have to do this without scaring him away. Invite him out more often to places where it will be just you and him like the cinema or maybe ice skating. Try to choose something that he'll enjoy.

It's slightly worrying that he doesn't want to tell his parents that you're back together but it shouldn't be a problem so long as he tells his friends. Maybe he's just worried about how they will react and wants to wait a bit? And if he starts flirting with other girls around you, flirt with a few guys. Or if that would make you feel uncomfortable, hold his hand or walk right next to him. Just don't be too paranoid.

See how it goes, if your relationship starts to strengthen again then good but if it still doesn't feel right, you need to talk to him about it. People are always changing and sometimes it isn't for the best but it will happen and if you care about each other enough, you'll get through this. Hope this helps,

Heather xx

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hate me? i realy dont know how to talk to her i mean i have things i could talk about but when i see her im confused what to do and this year we have no classes together and ive been waiting for before she sorta tried to avoid me by a door on the way out to the buses to go home oh im sorry i forgot to mention this im shy especialy around her i dont know what to say to her and when i stand by the door waiting for her i think that i think if i was a girl that would be creepy i guess she means more to me then the world but i dont want people to make fun of her for me likeing her and she doesnt like me
i love her and i think shes realy smart and she is but i guess i can see if she hates me why
shes awesome but i guess im just a lame nerd shes popular and im not im fat tall stupid and shy .but shes perfect in my eyes and head i like her personality but not her friends and one creeps me out i dont know what to look for in signs that she likes me i think she might be shy or unsure so i dont know can u help me find ways to talk to her and get rid of my shyness and fear of her hating me?

I used to be shy. Don't worry about it, it's something that you can grow out of. And don't put yourself down so much, you seem like a very considerate person and that's what matters most. One way for you to talk to her would be to wait outside where the buses come to collect people and don't worry, she wont think you're creepy for doing that. And if you can't think of anything to say, maybe start by saying 'Hi, I haven't seen you for a while' or 'Hi, how are you?' Or if you pass her in the hallways, be sure to smile and say hi and if you see her sat on her own at any point in the library or in the dinner hall then go over and sit with her.

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im the one who asked the does she like me or hate me question ? should i ask her for her email cause im not sure if i should and since your a girl you can tell me better cause you have a better point of view

I think that's a good idea and maybe offer her your mobile/home phone number too and then see if she offers you hers.

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im a guy im 13. i like this girl alot and i told her last school year on valentines day in a love letter and i dont know if she likes me and i did ask her in the letter if she liked me but never said a thing. i talked to her this year and i asked her if she read it she said yesthen i asked her what she thought she said something but it was realy realy quite it sounded like a hamber siziling then i said say something even if its stupid which now i think was stupid but she laughed then i told her why cause
i didnt want to annoy her then now we hardly talk or never but every time we see ecother i look at her then the looks at me but she doesnt talk to me any more but she talks to this other boy alot but i think their friends cause every one thinks hes not straight and he agreed i think but her friends like sheild her away from me and my friends sorta do the same does me like me or does she hate me but to nice to say that???????????????

She certainly doesn't hate you. In fact, I get the feeling that she's a little overwhelmed. Keep making an effort to talk to her but try not to mention relationships and feelings too much because she probably needs time to think about how she feels. Don't let her push you away though. Talk to her, share your interests with her and ask what she's interested in. Perhaps eat lunch together but make sure there are some mutual friends there as well so she doesn't feel pressured.

The best advice I can give you is to give her time to think about this but at the same time, make an effort to become friends with her and perhaps that friendship will grow into something stronger.

Good luck and I hope this helps,

Heather xx

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kk so i really like this guy but aperantly he likes me and ma homegurl too supposely he likes me more then her but he is mostly looking for her and he flirts alott with me soo his a confusing guy and i dont know if he likes me or her more
how can i find out who he really likes and no she dosnt like him ..

Hi there! That's a tricky question but the solution is simple - you need to trust him. If he says he likes you best, then take his word for it because all relationships are built on trust and his actions will show if he's being honest with you. Of course, there's the added bonus that this other girl doesn't like him back so really you've nothing to lose.

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Hi. I love taking videos on my digital camera and then watching them on my computer! But I REALLY want to put them on DVDs, so I can have the memories forever, and share them with my friends. The problem is, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DO IT!!!! Can you help me??? Thanks!

Hi there,

I don't have much experience in this area but I did a little research and found a site that might be useful - http://office.microsoft.com/en-gb/help/HA011266991033.aspx.

These are instructions for transferring photos and documents and such to a CD but if you read the bottom - 'For files too large to fit on a CD, you can copy files to a recordable DVD (DVD-R or DVD+R) or rewritable DVD (DVD-RW or DVD+RW). However, Windows XP does not support copying to a DVD, so you have to use DVD authoring software.' - it suggests that you use the same process for copying to a DVD except that you need DVD burning software. I'm not sure where you'd get that but you could search the internet or go to a store where you can buy recordable and re-writable DVD's (PC World or any other big computer store I'd imagine) and ask them how the process works and what software you need. I'm sure they can give you a much better answer than me but I hope some of this is useful,

Heather xx

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i need to loose around 10lbs.
i'm looking for 3-5lbs per week.

do you think that eating a low-calorie (1300) diet and an hour of excersise will help??

That will certainly help but I don't think it's enough. Three to five pounds a week is quite a lot and not advisable unless you're rather overweight. If you do want to lose a few pounds though, I'd increase the amount of excersise you're considering and don't worry about the diet too much. Eating healthily is what's important. By all means, cut out any snacks you would eat and exchange junk food for healthier alternatives but have three meals a day and drink lots of fluids. Hope some of this helps and good luck with losing weight,

Heather xx

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ok well heres the deal, my dad has a big temper problem but when he plays around like fight playing and i play back hes like oh, u wanna mess around and he gets out of control. he's never hit me out of anger, but tonite he hit me in the side of the head where my ear is and its been smarting for a bit. i want to show him im not weak and i mean business. does anyone know any moves in which i can best him. a behind the back arm hold would be great.
15/f btw. im sick of him being an asshole.

The best thing for you to do is to not encourage him when he's 'play fighting' and to let someone know that he's hurt you but if you want to show him you're not weak, I have a few tips. You're probably smaller than him, right? Well use that to your advantage. Get a firm hold on his shirt when you're facing him, put your leg behind his leg and then push forward. It shouldn't be too hard to knock him to the ground and it's one of the easier judo moves to learn. That's one thing you could do though; join a judo or karate group and they'll teach you some self defence. I have to admit, I spent a few months in one and my brother takes me seriously these days.

Heather xx

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Okay So yeah i know im at a risk for pregnancy.
Im 14 years old and I had sex with a condom on,he came in the condom,and that was that.
Then,he asked if we could do it for 3 seconds without the condom [ofcourse me not thinking,] i said yes.
And just what I thought would happen,it ended up being more than 3 seconds,it was maybe 1 minute or 30 seconds.
I gave him head before that so he was already half way done and he said he didnt cum in me,but i think some of it went in me and i saw some of it on the ground.
BUT i do have an advantage,I dont get my period every month.
I had gotten it about 2 and a half or 3 years ago and since then i only got it maybe 4 or 5 times.
So I dont think my menstrual cycle is normal ,So i was thinking on the bright side if I dont drop an egg ,it can't be fertilized right?
I could be wrong and I know there is a chance of me being pregnant,but is that an advantage at all?
Also,i read on this website that there are only 3-5 days a month that its most likely to get pregnant so thats also an advantage.
The reason I dont have my period is because im bulimic and i exercise veryyyy much.
please dont lecture me,but i need some help not someone to tell me ive made a mistake ,i realize that.

Hi there,

Okay so this is a difficult problem and you don't want a lecture so I wont give you one. We all make mistakes from time to time and the best thing for you to do is to find out for sure. Wait a week or so and then go and buy a pregnancy kit (or two if you want to double check). They're not hard to get, they're not expensive and you don't have to tell your parents at this stage. Follow the instructions that come with it and then take it from there. If you're not pregnant then great. Don't make the same mistake again. If you are pregnant then remain calm. It's not the end of the world. When you're certain, you should let your boyfriend and parents know and they can help you through it. Abortion may or may not be an option and fourteen isn't an ideal age to raise a child but it can be done. I hope this helps,

Heather xx

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I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY... want to know how to make link buttons! (I own a graphic making buisness thats why) I have asked over 56 people but they were all too ignerant to tell me how to make one! Do you know how to make them? If not, can you tell me some advice on how to get someone to tell me how???

Hi there. I might be able to help. Which program are you using? Here's a site that helps you make link buttons in paint -

http://www.daydreamgraphics.com/d/tutorial/list/28/3

Here's a general one -

http://www.htmlgoodies.com/tutorials/buttons/article.php/3478871

Is that what you was looking for? If not, let me know, try and explain what type of link button you want and I'll see what I can do. Hope this helps,

Heather xx

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Hi my name is Heather Stephen and like i have a crush on a boy but hes like one of my friends and i dont know wat to do. Like if i ask him out will he say no or freak out on me. So i was just wondering wat to do. Cause like i really like him more than a friend.

Hi there Heather,

I think the best thing to do is to talk to your friend and let him know how you feel. Tell him you like him and ask him if he likes you back. He might need a few days to think about it but if you don't ask, you'll regret it. If he says no then don't worry, at least you've tried and that shouldn't stop him from being your friend. I hope it works out for the two of you,

love Heather xx

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