|
relationship with boyfriend
so i've been dating my boyfriend for about 10 months now and at first it seemed like a perfect relationship, but after the summer, things have changed, his mom has led him to change his mind on how he views our relationship and me. She says to him that our relationship is too serious, and that he shouldn't be in a serious relationship during college. So because of this, he feels that i am becoming too needy, too serious (for some reason he has in his mind that i want to get married with him, and he is clearly scared of that fact) and he now wants only to have fun in college (ie. partying, raging, drinking with friends, going to clubs, etc). He has broken up with me twice now (each breakup was only a week long) and every time he wants to get back with me, he says that he really misses me and misses being around me. The first break up was very hard on me, but I took the second one better and was ready to move on, since i convinced myself that he has changed for good and that our relationship will never be the same again. I have decided to give him one more chance in trying to change what has happened, and we set terms that, so far, has made our relationship hold a bit. However, things have changed of course, and he hasn't told his parents that we are back together and it has been a month now and when i ask him why, he says that it'll make my life easier. I also feel that he doesn't treat me as well as before (like flirting with other girls in front of me) and that hurts me, yet he says that it's for fun, but i don't find that a bit fun or funny at all. He doesn't seem to understand that these types of things that he does with me, make me trust him less when he goes out with his friends and is why our relationship is not going smoothly. Also he is very self-conscious about showing affection in public and especially around his friends. I'm not sure if I should/can continue with our changed relationship, but i really still care about him, but wonder if having him as a boyfriend is worth it.
need advice,
Bibi
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
Hi there,
that's quite a tricky situation. I think the best way forward is for you to show him that your relationship can be fun but it's also a serious commitment. The trouble is, you have to do this without scaring him away. Invite him out more often to places where it will be just you and him like the cinema or maybe ice skating. Try to choose something that he'll enjoy.
It's slightly worrying that he doesn't want to tell his parents that you're back together but it shouldn't be a problem so long as he tells his friends. Maybe he's just worried about how they will react and wants to wait a bit? And if he starts flirting with other girls around you, flirt with a few guys. Or if that would make you feel uncomfortable, hold his hand or walk right next to him. Just don't be too paranoid.
See how it goes, if your relationship starts to strengthen again then good but if it still doesn't feel right, you need to talk to him about it. People are always changing and sometimes it isn't for the best but it will happen and if you care about each other enough, you'll get through this. Hope this helps,
Heather xx
]
More Questions: |