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All is as it should be. I will do my best to help you, as others have helped me.
advice
(16/f) i have a bad temper. im an extremely angry person. theres no warning for when im about to get angry. even i dont know when its going to happen. i dont even know why i get mad sometimes. some days i wake up mad and sometimes i just randomly get pissed. but when im mad im violent. ive thrown desks at teachers in school before. when i fight i dont know how to stop. i have to be pulled off of that person. i fuck people up when im mad. i broke some kids jaw because they looked at me on a bad day and it rubbed me wrong. i get really violent thoughts over stupid things. if im angry at someone, even for something small, i get these crazy thoughts. examples: a kid was playing a guitar in class, i wanted to choke him with a guitar string; the class was taking a test and they were near me, i realized i could just stab my pencil into their neck if i wanted to; some kid something that pissed me off and he was sitting in front of me, my thoughts were "does he not know that i could easily snap his neck right now?"; we were walking down some stairs and this kid was cocky and i shoved him down the stairs for it. if im watching a movie or a show and i see a fight i want to fight so bad that i get mad. i browse through channels and the only things that i stop at are people arguing or fighting. i see or hear about a fight an i get mad and riled up. and i ask everyone this but no one has it happen to them; when im mad i get goosebumps everywhere on my body. they come in waves starting from my head to my feet over and over again. is it me or is this a problem? and no punching bags, counting to ten, holding my breath, etc. do not help me. ive tried believe me. showers dont help either nor does running or any form of exercise. and i cant do something like karate because ill fuck the kid up and kicking pisses me off. like i said i dont just get mad i get furious. i get mad to the point of tears. i dont hvae different levels of anger. im either happy or fucking violent. sorry this was so long.
What you are dealing with as far as I can see is repressed emotions. What you should consider is did something happen to you as a child. If you had a peaceful and loving childhood then you may have to look into your spirit. Our spirits are traveling and being reborn and going through a lot and sometimes that anger is built up and comes out in a certain life. It is good that you know this about your self and you would like to do something about it. I would suggest that you start doing some meditation to figure out what is trapped inside of you that needs to come out. There is no difference between you being a really angry violent person, and someone who is really sad and self destructive, and someone who excessively nice to the point that they deny their other emotions. There needs to be a balance in your body. there is nothing wrong with getting mad, sad or anything else. You need to take control of your spiritual self. I would go to borders and check out some books on new age studies about changing your emotions. Also the psychological section. This helped me get through a lot of self destructive behaviors. Also, do some Qi Gong. If you don't want to do the Karate, try a meditation group or yoga if you like that. Go outside and just spend sometime by your self, telling your self good things about your self. Listen to nature, ask nature to bring the peace that is in you to the forefront. Give your self permission to be angry and sad, but have controll. Love your thoughts even when they are violent. This is just an active imaganation, that is ok, that will deminish with time as you start to repace them with thoughts of helping people and peace. Volunteer to help people. This will make you feel good too. Most importantly, have some me time. Take time to do something nice for your self and tell your self that you are a good loving person that deserves good things. It is ok to make mistakes. The Druids say that our greatest enlightenment comes from our greatest chaos. Peace and you can do it.
(Rating: 5) wow. that was amazing advice. ive tried just about everything that has been suggested to me before. i even go to both a psychiatrist and a psychologist and i have been for the past 2 years or so and theyve tried just about anything they can think of but it just never works. yoga and all that, i do on a regular basis but it really doesnt help. i used to box and that worked wonders for about a good 3 months but now nothing is helping me channel my anger. i cant let things go either. i cant get over small things until months later. i had a very good childhood by the way. maybe its just this place. i used to be so happy and kind and generous to everybody. but ever since i moved here a couple of years ago ive changed. but i dont know that thats completely it. i cry just thinking about the fact that im so young and im so angry. i used to be a very depressed person, and ever since i got better is when the anger got as bad as it is now. maybe i just kind of started to take things a different way? but this, i cant stop. i try and try.