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advice
I'm 16 and a girl. I live on a ranch. I have three older brothers and my dad who worked on the ranch. My oldest brother doesn't work anymore because he lives in a different town. My middle brother still works and my youngest older brother works on the ranch. Well I don't work on the ranch unless they ask me too and I do whatever they need me too. They don't ask me often, but when they do I do what needs to be done. I usually just stay in the house and do house chores. Well my youngest older brother (Barry) is really rude to me. He always tells me how lazy I am. He says I'm a spoiled brat (which I'm not. I work for a lot of things I have). He has called me a bitch many times. He has hurt me physically in the past and continues to damper my confidence. My parents worship him and anything he says they back him up. It is really starting to take a toll on me. I cry everyday hoping things will get better, but they just get worse. Am I wrong to think this is abuse? What do I need to do?
It sounds like your brother is very jealous of you, and probably has been for a long time. Think about it: before you were born, he was the baby of the family... the cute little one who was pampered and got all the attention. Then YOU came along, and that attention was diverted to you. And not only were you the new baby, but you were a GIRL... a precious little fragile angel who was probably treated much differently than her brothers.
And even if you're not the least bit spoiled, in HIS eyes, it seems that you get special treatment. You aren't required to do the hard physical labor; while he's out toiling on the ranch, you "get" to stay inside and do the "easy" chores. [And I'm not saying your jobs are easy, because trust me, I know they aren't... but that's probably the way HE imagines it.] Also, as a girl, you have a different relationship with your parents than he and your other brothers have, and he might be a little jealous of that special bond.
Not that any of this makes his behavior right. It definitely doesn't. I'm just saying that this may be the reason he acts that way towards you.
What can you do about it? Unfortunately, probably not much. He's going to have to grow up on his own and get over this. If you fight back and give in to his taunts, it will only convince him that he's right, that you are a spoiled brat. So just try to keep your cool and remind yourself that he probably won't be a jerk forever. At some point he will mature and come to value his relationship with his sister.
(Rating: 5) I think you are 110% right. He is jealous.