Jeanne's advice column

ok i know its gonna be kinda confusing but i don't know exactly how to start,... i had a boydfriend, we were together for 2 years and a half, but everything started to destroy from the 1 anyversary, we started to have lots of problems with trust, becuase the 1 year i was so confortable with him, i was so sure that he would never ever do anything to hurt me and that i was the only one, but then i discover he started to like attention, cause usually not many girls will like him, but all of a sudden a lot of girls started to be interested on him, and the first time smoething like this happen i forgave him because i thought oh maybe he is not used to girls comming onto him so now he knows hes handsome and gets attention...cause there was this girl that was suppose to be his new friend and she was like saying lots of things like "hey do you like someone at school? knowing he has a girlfriend. and asking things like ..do oyyou think im pretty cause i think im sooo ugly ...so he would say something like of course your not ugly i think your really pretty and things like this, she used to make lots of comments like if she was so insecure about herself just for him to say nice things to her..when i found out about him i told him, and he was like oh sorry its just that i felt bad that shes so insecure about her looks (of course i was like "how can she be so insecure about her looks if she uploads hundreds! of pictures of herself in her blog?") and then he kinda understood that ,,,then ,..another thing like this happen, this super firendly girl started to receive comments from him like "you look soooo pretty in that picture ;)" things like this ,,and i found out and got so mad at him,..since then i haven't been able to trust in him again..now i found out he was receiving messages from a random girl on myspace like "oh your so hot your soo handsome" things like this ...and i was so mad i was like ok its not his fault that she wrote that ..but then he aswer! like "hey thnx whats your email?" and i got so mad and told him i couldn't trust in him and i wasnt' confortable with this ..his kinda popular in my city cause he has a band and things like this so that made easier for girls to approach to him, ...he used to be so insecure about his lokks while we were together ...but then ,,now with all this girl things he is so secure about his looks.....then another thing came.. i looked at his email account and he had this email from a girl like ohh baby how are you haven't talk to you please answer you know i love you please lets be friends again cutie please write me back....and i told him i saw that ...and he was like ...that doensn't mean anything its one simple email someone sent me and this girl is not even from our city so who cares if i answer ..i told him what was bothering me was not the mail ...was that he was answering back!...we broke up...but still when i log into his msn i saw like 50 new girls i didn't knew he had in his list...and im soo insecure now cause i wanna get back with him and hes constantly begging for me to come back with him...but i told him i just dont trust in him..for several things that happen...i know he wants me back,,and me too...but i don't like that kind of things :S like having hundreds of pretty girls on her list that they added him just to get to know him cause they are interested in him! please help!! im soooo confuse cause i wanna go back with him...but...im sick of having to be spying his email acount his msn his facebook, his myspace and worse finding things like this!! do you think i should just not go back with him??cause also i think that if he cared enough like he says he wouldn't be doing this kind of things over and over again :S ...im so confused please help hes become very flirty =S!! and i hate that !!!

I have a friend who was in the same situation as you. They started a new school together, and suddenly her boyfriend became really popular. Girls were all over him! This was something new to him, and of course he thoroughly enjoyed all the attention. And he turned into a total flirt. Instead of discouraging girls from hanging all over him, he just encouraged it, because it gave him a huge ego boost.

And of course it caused a lot of problems for their relationship. And even though she told him a zillion times how much it hurt her when he flirted, he kept doing it.

But then something happened. They were at a party one day, and several guys started hitting on my friend big time. At first her boyfriend was really mad... but then, he got sad! Because it made him realize how she'd been feeling all this time. It was like a light went on in his head, and even told her, "Wow, now I know how you feel when girls hit on me."

Since then, things have been a lot better. Girls still throw themselves at him, but he doesn't openly encourage it the way he used to.

What your guy needs is a wakeup call like this. And maybe he's gotten it, by you breaking up with him. Now he's realized what its like to be without you, and that he could lose you for good. Maybe he's learned his lesson? The only way to find out is to give him another chance. But be straight with him... let him know that this is his one and only chance; that if he continues to encourage these girls by flirting back with them, then it will be over for good. If he cares about you enough, he'll not risk losing you again.

Good luck, and I hope it works out for you!

[view]

(Rating: 5) thaaaank you lots! the worse part is that he knows that sometimes it was his last chanc and still did things like replying emails just becuase he thinks that becuase it is an eemail or a post or anything its not as importante as in flirting in real life , yeah i think ill wiat then give him a chance thanks anyway help me too much =)

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>