Jeanne's advice column

Okay, so I’m basically asking about ‘Love’. I know the word is really powerful and so is the feeling. And I’ve noticed people say it when they don’t really mean it. Plus, a lot of people get hurt over it. But, I have a question about it. Is there such thing as ‘puppy love’. You know, I would call it ‘teenage love’. There has to be different kind of loves. Like: the way you ‘love’ your family, the way you ‘love’ your friends, the way you ‘love’ a husband, the way you ‘love’ a pet, and the way you ‘love’ a boyfriend. They can’t all be the same kind of love, can they? Because I am a teenager with a boyfriend that I ‘love’...but not the way you would love a husband or anything. I would almost call it ‘teenage love’ because we are still young. And plus, we don’t really understand the meaning of love, right? So, could anyone explain this to me. I just want to understand the meaning of love a little bit more than I do right now. Is there different types of love? It would be nice to have this explained a little bit further. And it would help if I was told that I make sense or not. Because sometimes, I don’t know what im talking about. I just want this clarified for me. =) Thanks in advance!

I think you're making perfect sense, and you're absolutely right... there are many different types of love. What makes them different is that they're based on different things. For example, the love you feel for a pet is based on affection and a desire to protect and take care of it. The love you feel for your parents is also based on affection, but also respect and trust. The love you feel for a boyfriend will probably include some affection, but it's also gonna include some physical attraction.

I think that "true love" -- the kind where you want to spend the rest of your life with someone -- has to have all of those ingredients at the same time: affection, attraction, respect, admiration, trust, and truly caring about that person's happiness and well-being, to the point where you're willing to give up some of your own happiness to ensure theirs. And it also means really knowing that the person you love feels all those things for you.

When people say "You're too young to know what love is", I think they mean that the love you feel might not have all of the ingredients to be considered "true love." It might have physical attraction, but not respect or trust; or it might have affection, but not much attraction. It can still be love... but just not the "true love" kind of love.

But don't let anyone tell you that you don't really love someone. If you feel like you love someone, then you do! Because like you said, there are many different types of love. But at some point you'll be lucky enough to have all the ingredients together in one relationship, and then you'll know that it's "true love."

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(Rating: 5) oh wow! thank you so much! you really helped me out. I feel so much better about the whole topic now! =) you're awesome! =D

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