15/F
sorry for the length.
please, just read and respond.
Here's the deal. This isn't one of those stories where I ask advice for my friend. It really is him. Alright, well a little while ago I went to my cousins house and I met his neighbor whom I clicked with immedietly. We had this instant atraction that was werid because Iusualy wouldn't go for guys like him. I'm a good girl, because of the choices I make, and he's more of the bad boy who's been through alot. So we liked eachother a little bit, but he lives about an hour away and I have a boyfriend, and he had a girlfriend.The feelings faded how I wanted them too. When we got to know eachother, he told me that he cuts. I got him to stop and he promied me that he'd never do it again, but only because he loves me and that he wants to make sure that I trust him. I got him through alot of stuff and I became his "hero" as he says. A little while after that he told me that he missed his ex and that his life meant nothing to him anymore and I had to convince him to not take his life. I don't say anything inconsiderate and I talk to him about his feelings. I know how to play. He thanked me for the help and everything was fine for awhile. Then, yesturday, he told me that he broke up with the girlfriend that he currently had because they lived far away. I asked him if I could help and he said no, because, "It scares me how much I care about you, and I can't take loving you anymore." I didn't understand what he meant by this and I tried over and over again to ask him but he never gave me the explaination that I wanted. I thought we were over what we had, but maybe he doens't like me anymore. I asked if he still had feelings for me and he said yes, but I just really don't know. I asked him if he broke up with his girlfriend because of me and he said that he didn't know. I'm gonig up to my aunts house on monday and I'm gonig to see him because he is my aunts neighbor. I'm just afraid that things will be different and that I'll make him feel weird. We had somthing, I'll admit. I love the boyfriend that I have right now and I don't want anything to rekindle with my aunts neighbor. I want to be there for him, but I don't wnat to fall for him. I had a big problem with this last time and it almost caused me and my boyfriend to brake up. This kid means alot to me, and he changed me as a person and I see life alot differently. I just recently lost one of my best friends and he helped me get through. Now I want to be there for him. I can't have him take his life or hurt himself. Please...please help me. I sound desperate, but what would you do if you were me.
you could help me, help him save his LIFE.
thankyou and God bless all who resppond.
I don't actually know where to start because most of what I am going to say will more than likely sound insulting and certainly not nice but regardless, it's from experience as well as being in my nature to see how full of shit some people can be.
The first thing that caught my attention is that line he said to you... "It scares me how much I care about you, and I can't take loving you anymore." It seems pretty straight forward what he's saying... he's saying he likes you and he can't take it because liking you means he can't have you (you have a bf and I assume he knows this). I also have a very strange feeling that when you do meet him he may say he loves you but can't have you so he doesn't want to live anymore etc, etc, etc. If he does - how predictable. I admire your need in wanting to help but you have to be clear headed and know when you're being played for a fool - just incase that is what this guy is doing. For all you know he may have been using the same crap to keep his ex around until she finally decided she had enough. The truth is you only have one side of the story which is his side.
As for this problem with you and your boyfriend and how you don't want there to be a problem popping up again with this other kid, if this is really what you want then I suggest you go there knowing full well what your getting yourself into. He obviously likes you (even admitted it to you) and he needs emotional support (apparently). So be prepared for that and also KNOW when and where you need to draw the line. If you love your bf you've no excuse to fall for him. If you really are that scared then ensure he knows straight out that you only think of him as a friend and nothing else. You will need to make sure he understands this very clearly. If you told him anything about how you felt he will see it as a weakness and know that he has a chance of being able to pull you away from your bf. More to the point though, what gets me is that this guy says he broke up with his gf becuase of distance but then you're also an hour away from him anyway. It's not like he would be able to see you on a regular basis is it?
Overall I really do admire that you want to help this kid but be smart and don't get caught up in any emotional blackmail in the process. If I'm wrong about this guy (which happens on rare occasions) then I really do hope you manage to help him out but at some point he will need to help himself out as well. As someone once said, you can open the door but he's the one who has to walk through it.
[view]
(Rating: 5)
i think he meant the love as a friend thing. I mean i dont like him, i'm totaly in love with my bf. Im just worried about him. And i alreadt met him. lol.
thanks tho.
|
