14/f
I seem to have a problem, I always like guys that aren't available. Sometimes I fall hard, and then get really depressed because I know I can't have them.
A few times in the past, boys I've liked have asked me out, and before I've had time to think about it, I've said no. And after I think, what did I do that for?
And boys I've liked have chatted me up at parties and I've got away from them quickly. And I always regret it.
Now, I've been in love with this boy for the past 4 months. And he really is the most amazing boy I've ever met. He seemed to be in a really serious relationship with his girlfriend and I'd cry all the time because of it.
A few days ago he told me he likes me as more than a friend, and I was ecstatically happy. Although I didn't think anything would happen for quite a long time because of his relationship with his girlfriend.
But then he said he's not sure what's going on with them at the moment, and recently has been talking about breaking up with her, although he's not sure. And his best mate keeps making comments that make it sound as if it's because he wants to be with someone else.
And suddenly I feel like I'm in a panic, and I don't feel as happy and I feel quite worried.
And I don't know why, I mean, I've wanted this for months now, right?
Yet I can't help it, it seems as soon as someone starts to like me, I pull away.
Do you have any idea why I do this? Is it to do with commitment? And how can I stop it?
Thanks in advance, sorry it was long, xxx
As you've said it may well be the fear of commitment but it may also have a lot to do with the fear of letting someone too close or fear of getting hurt. I mean liking someone from a distance is always safer because they can't really hurt you as opposed to them being with you. It may be the case with you but then again it might not be. Maybe you just panic at the thought that you may actually get what you desire. There's no fix as such and I cerainly have no idea what you can do to fix this problem becuase for all we know it's a problem deep in your subconscious mind and I think the only real way you'll be able to get past it is by facing up to what the problem is and trying your best to get out of the habit of running whenever someone you like actually does make a move on you or approaches you.
On a side note - if this guy is willing to break up with his girlfriend to go out with you then it is always common sense to ask yourself if another girl comes into the picture a few months down could he very well do the same to you for her?
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Thanks, and yeah I have asked myself that. I figured it would be best to leave it for a while if they split up. And not date him straight away.
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