BIOGRAPHY:
My name is Carrie, and I just recently turned 25. I've been told that I give excellent advice, so I created this column last year with the intention of helping as many people as possible. Although I do believe I succeeded, I ultimately turned my back on this column when I discovered just how cruel and thankless some people can be. Almost one year later a lot has changed. I've gained a whole new perspective on life and the world around me. I'm much more positive, sympathetic, and willing to listen when people truly need help. So now I've decided to come back and focus my attention on the individuals who are truly in need of advice.
ADVICE:
I'm very genuine when it comes to giving advice. I try to be sympathetic to the person asking the question, but I don't ever sugar coat things. I've learned quickly that many people who ask for help don't really want advice - they want someone who will say what they want to hear. Sorry, but you're not going to get that with me. I'm not here to make friends (if a friendship happens though, yay for me!). You'll always get the truth from me whether you like it or not. While the truth may sting just a bit to begin with, it will absolutely set you free in the long run. If you want to be lied to, please seek advice from somebody else.
CONTACT INFO:
If you like my advice and have additional questions for me, click on the link right underneath this profile that says "Ask Me A Question." If you leave your follow-up question for me in my feedback, I have no way of replying to it. Please use the link. Also, I have an e-mail address where people can get in touch with me if they need to. Feel free to use it.
IMPORTANT:
This may be a hobby in some people's eyes, but I don't like it when people waste my time regardless of whatever it is I'm doing, which in this case, is providing a free service out of the kindness of my heart. So please don't ask me stupid questions, and please make an effort to type sensibly so that I can read and understand your question. I know there are a lot of young people on this site, but that's no excuse to type like you're brain dead. Proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation is highly appreciated with me. The more intelligent your question is, the more intelligent of a response you'll get from me.
ABOUT ME:
Here are some facts about me. I like pop music (especially Madonna). I like horror movies (especially Scream). I like to chat (on MSN). I love to write (poetry, screenplays, short stories). I love shopping (Best Buy). I'm a gamer (I'm better than a guy - Xbox 360 all the way). I have a MySpace (Click "Ask Carrie" for the link). I love my doggies (I have 2). I'm not a bitch (...well, sometimes). I love to laugh (and sometimes I pee a little when I do). It happens.
Website: Ask Carrie
E-mail: soundslikepink@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: South Carolina
Occupation: What's that?
Age: 25
Member Since: June 10, 2007
Answers: 195
Last Update: September 13, 2008
Visitors: 17127
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14/f
my boyfriend, josh is 17.
his best friend, and my best friend, blake is also 17.
so, ive been dating my boyfriend for 3 months on the 5th of august. and i met blake about a month before josh and i started dating.
i really love my boyfriend. and he says he loves me. but i dunno if he does. sometimes. he just doesnt sound sincere. blake on teh other hand, when he says i love you. its so definate, and i KNOW i can trust him. it just seems like blake cares so much more. and it worries me sometimes.
blake lives about an hour away from me though, while josh lves liek 10 minutes away.
i hung out with blake on friday night, we held hands, and he held me. and it was so great. hes the best hugger in teh world. and although he can be a sarcastic asshole sometimes, hes still so amazing. but he doesnt know that, hes reall not confident.
josh is pretty confident, he has low-ish self esteem.
but since friday, ive been thinking about my relationship with josh. i know i love him, but i dont know if its that kind of love anymore. and i think im begining to have feelings for blake.
and it really worries me, because i dont want to do that to josh.
also, i havent seen josh in about 2 weeks, because hes in africa on a missions trip.
so that may have something to do with what im feeling.
i just really dont know what to do, and id liek an outsiders opinion.
help would be much appreciated.
thanks in advance.
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This is a very difficult and tricky situation. Not only could you lose Josh, but you could lose your friendship with Blake and Josh could lose his friendship with Blake too. What's a young girl to do?
*cue Dawson's Creek music*
I think you should do some serious consideration before you take action. You say you love Josh, but are you prepared for him to be hurt because of you? Are you prepared for him to be angry at you and try to do something mean in retaliation? Chances are, he will. Not only will you be breaking his heart, but you'll end his friendship with his best friend. That's not very thoughtful.
If you're fine with all of that, take a moment to consider Blake. You say he's your best friend, but relationships with best friends almost never end well and they almost always end. Take that into consideration as well. To start up a relationship with a friend typically means abandoning the friendship altogether. Are your feelings for him so strong that it's worth risking your friendship?
My advice is to take some time out to think about what you really want. Do you really want to be with a guy (Blake) who's moving in on his best friend's girlfriend? Is deceit a characteristic trait you want in a boyfriend? Would you appreciate being deceived if he was your boyfriend and some other girl caught his attention? Don't just assume his interest in you is causing this behavior.
If your feelings for Josh are becoming more platonic, then consider telling him and letting him down gently. Don't make this some dramatic thing where you leave him and go right into another relationship. Blake isn't going anywhere. Allow some time to pass and see if your feelings are still as strong for him as they are now. If they are, then you can pursue them if you want.
At least give Josh the respect you would want a boy to give you. Don't be holding hands with another guy and don't let another guy hold you. That's disrespectful and selfish. You can control your actions, so put them in check. Otherwise you'll end up feeling guilty or becoming jaded and karma will definitely come after you in your next relationship. Deep down, you know right from wrong, so act like it.
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Rating: 5
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thank you so much.
youve really put it in a better perspective for me. =]
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