BIOGRAPHY:
My name is Carrie, and I just recently turned 25. I've been told that I give excellent advice, so I created this column last year with the intention of helping as many people as possible. Although I do believe I succeeded, I ultimately turned my back on this column when I discovered just how cruel and thankless some people can be. Almost one year later a lot has changed. I've gained a whole new perspective on life and the world around me. I'm much more positive, sympathetic, and willing to listen when people truly need help. So now I've decided to come back and focus my attention on the individuals who are truly in need of advice.
ADVICE:
I'm very genuine when it comes to giving advice. I try to be sympathetic to the person asking the question, but I don't ever sugar coat things. I've learned quickly that many people who ask for help don't really want advice - they want someone who will say what they want to hear. Sorry, but you're not going to get that with me. I'm not here to make friends (if a friendship happens though, yay for me!). You'll always get the truth from me whether you like it or not. While the truth may sting just a bit to begin with, it will absolutely set you free in the long run. If you want to be lied to, please seek advice from somebody else.
CONTACT INFO:
If you like my advice and have additional questions for me, click on the link right underneath this profile that says "Ask Me A Question." If you leave your follow-up question for me in my feedback, I have no way of replying to it. Please use the link. Also, I have an e-mail address where people can get in touch with me if they need to. Feel free to use it.
IMPORTANT:
This may be a hobby in some people's eyes, but I don't like it when people waste my time regardless of whatever it is I'm doing, which in this case, is providing a free service out of the kindness of my heart. So please don't ask me stupid questions, and please make an effort to type sensibly so that I can read and understand your question. I know there are a lot of young people on this site, but that's no excuse to type like you're brain dead. Proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation is highly appreciated with me. The more intelligent your question is, the more intelligent of a response you'll get from me.
ABOUT ME:
Here are some facts about me. I like pop music (especially Madonna). I like horror movies (especially Scream). I like to chat (on MSN). I love to write (poetry, screenplays, short stories). I love shopping (Best Buy). I'm a gamer (I'm better than a guy - Xbox 360 all the way). I have a MySpace (Click "Ask Carrie" for the link). I love my doggies (I have 2). I'm not a bitch (...well, sometimes). I love to laugh (and sometimes I pee a little when I do). It happens.
Website: Ask Carrie
E-mail: soundslikepink@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: South Carolina
Occupation: What's that?
Age: 25
Member Since: June 10, 2007
Answers: 195
Last Update: September 13, 2008
Visitors: 17143
Main Categories:
Love Life
General Sex Questions
Friendship
View All
Favorite Columnists
DangerNerd
LagunaBabe
MiCheLLeKaYLa06
hotpotato
Antnorwe
Mackenzie
KellyHappy
mwalnutss
DepthofHeart
AlaskaGrown
lacrosseroxsox
more...
|
| |
So, like, my girlfriend broke up with me like 6 months ago. And I actually cannot get her off my mind. I mean, I think I actually still really like her which is all the worse because she doesn't want anything to do with me. We used to be friends before we went out and I really liked her for a fair few months before anything was said. So its like I went from having this fairly good friendship to a relationship to nothing. And, well, it still hurts.
I mean, I know why she broke up with me and everything, and her points are pretty fair (I was too clingy i suppose is the best way to describe it). But I only acted the way I did because, in a typically manly and ironic thing to do, I didn't want to lose what I had waited so long to get. I really cared about her, infact I still do. And given the choice I would go back and change what I did. But thats not going to happen, so I have to deal with it.
Now, your first thought might be 'wow, this guys pathetic'. Well, I don't have a particularly high opinion of myself either. But I was just wondering if anyone had any advice for what I can do?
And trust me, I have heard everything about it taking time, but 6 months and counting is far too long to wait in my opinion.
I mean, I really want to tell her how I still feel, but the thing is I havent spoken to her in literally 2 months and a random message from me detailing how I feel won't go down well I fear.
Because the thing at the bottom is telling me to, i'm 17/m and she is 17/f (duh)
Any help would be appreciated
Thanks :) (link)
|
Aww. I don't think you're pathetic. I think you're adorable! You just need someone to point you in the right direction, and that's where I come in. :)
The people who've been giving you a time limit are wrong. Pain has no time limit. Emotions (like joy, sadness, anger, etc.) are like living, breathing things. As long as you continue to feed them, they'll remain alive and well whether it's been 6 days, 6 months, or 6 years. So don't expect to do nothing and just wake up one day and the heartache is gone. It doesn't work like that. Sorry.
What you have to do is put forth some effort to get over her. It sounds like you still have a ton of stuff to say to her. So the best thing you can do is write a letter or an email and pour your heart out. Get it all out and say every single thing you want to tell her in this letter/email. However, don't send it to her. This is just to vent and get it all out. Believe it or not, your brain doesn't know the difference between venting to yourself and venting to someone else.
You will feel relief regardless of if she sees this letter/email or not. That's why journals and blogs are so popular. Release is good. So let it out. Keep it to yourself or show a friend. Hell, send it to me! lol Just don't send it to her because then you'll be anticipating a reaction, and that's not good. You need to start phasing her out of your life and this will be a great first step. Once your mind is cleared then you can begin working on step two, which is self esteem.
You need to know that you're not pathetic, ugly, a loser, stupid, or anything negative. You may have feelings for this girl, but she is not better than you are. If you knew that you were just as valuable as she is, you wouldn't have been so clingy and insecure in the relationship. So learn to think more positively and treat yourself better. Just like you're continuing to feed the pain, you're also continuing to feed your insecurities. You have to stop this behavior right now. This book can really, really help:
(E-Mail me if you still need the link.)
Once you begin to value yourself, most of your problems will fade away. Right now you're treating yourself as someone who's inferior of others. I promise you that isn't true. If you had more confidence, you would never give someone the power to make you feel bad for as long as she has made you feel. It's time to start loving yourself and respecting yourself. Focus your attention from her to you. You need to be the one who's pulling yourself up out of this rut and telling yourself that everything will be fine - because it will be.
Finally, I got the impression that you're shy. Most people who lack self esteem are. When you begin to gain confidence, not only will your heartache melt away, but so will some of that shyness. You need to learn to be assertive, and I think the best place you could be right now is around other girls who'll take the initiative to flirt with you and make you feel good about yourself. In time, you'll learn to reciprocate, but for right now you need to interact with some girls and see that your ex isn't the only one.
There's lots of other girls, lots of other opportunities, and plenty of time for you to get out there and make the most of everything. So get off your ass, get out of that rut, and put your girlfriend in the past. Chances are, she didn't deserve you and you're just too down on yourself to know. Lift your head up and realize what a catch you are. Positivity and effort are the keys to success. I hope I've helped a little bit and that you have more of an idea about what needs to be done. Good luck and please keep me updated! :)
|
|
Rating: 5
|
Thank you for the veritable essay lol. And although everything you say is registering with me as useful, I have trouble believing it. See, the problem is that people have flirted with me for their own devices, or for kicks, or whatever. But not for good reasons. And I have spent all my life dealing with verbal abuse from my school 'mates' and even my peers (in this case teachers). So when you say i'm not inferior to others, everything that has been done to me in my relatively short life works against this.
I do appreciate all your kind words though, especially the adorable thing lol. I cant see it myself, but then sometimes whats staring back at us from the mirror is blind to us.
Thank you again :)
|
|