BIOGRAPHY:
My name is Carrie, and I just recently turned 25. I've been told that I give excellent advice, so I created this column last year with the intention of helping as many people as possible. Although I do believe I succeeded, I ultimately turned my back on this column when I discovered just how cruel and thankless some people can be. Almost one year later a lot has changed. I've gained a whole new perspective on life and the world around me. I'm much more positive, sympathetic, and willing to listen when people truly need help. So now I've decided to come back and focus my attention on the individuals who are truly in need of advice.
ADVICE:
I'm very genuine when it comes to giving advice. I try to be sympathetic to the person asking the question, but I don't ever sugar coat things. I've learned quickly that many people who ask for help don't really want advice - they want someone who will say what they want to hear. Sorry, but you're not going to get that with me. I'm not here to make friends (if a friendship happens though, yay for me!). You'll always get the truth from me whether you like it or not. While the truth may sting just a bit to begin with, it will absolutely set you free in the long run. If you want to be lied to, please seek advice from somebody else.
CONTACT INFO:
If you like my advice and have additional questions for me, click on the link right underneath this profile that says "Ask Me A Question." If you leave your follow-up question for me in my feedback, I have no way of replying to it. Please use the link. Also, I have an e-mail address where people can get in touch with me if they need to. Feel free to use it.
IMPORTANT:
This may be a hobby in some people's eyes, but I don't like it when people waste my time regardless of whatever it is I'm doing, which in this case, is providing a free service out of the kindness of my heart. So please don't ask me stupid questions, and please make an effort to type sensibly so that I can read and understand your question. I know there are a lot of young people on this site, but that's no excuse to type like you're brain dead. Proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation is highly appreciated with me. The more intelligent your question is, the more intelligent of a response you'll get from me.
ABOUT ME:
Here are some facts about me. I like pop music (especially Madonna). I like horror movies (especially Scream). I like to chat (on MSN). I love to write (poetry, screenplays, short stories). I love shopping (Best Buy). I'm a gamer (I'm better than a guy - Xbox 360 all the way). I have a MySpace (Click "Ask Carrie" for the link). I love my doggies (I have 2). I'm not a bitch (...well, sometimes). I love to laugh (and sometimes I pee a little when I do). It happens.
Website: Ask Carrie
E-mail: soundslikepink@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: South Carolina
Occupation: What's that?
Age: 25
Member Since: June 10, 2007
Answers: 195
Last Update: September 13, 2008
Visitors: 17149
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Okay, today me and my boyfriend were hanging out, just a regular day. We rotated his car tires outside and then went inside his house just to relax. (His house was empty). So he goes on his computer and checks this car website while I sit on a chair, I even grab a granola bar to munch on. So afterwards he approaches me and starts to kiss me intently. Obviously, he was looking for a hookup. Then, I push him back lightly because when ever we go to his house and it's empty, we ALWAYS have to hookup! I don't think that it's always necessary to hookup on these occasions but we always do. I mean he's not a hormonal-hookup-monster but I mean what kind of guy doesn't like them? Anyway, I told him no, and I also said, why is it that whenever we go to his house we always have to hookup. Can't we just talk, relax and maybe even watch some t.v for the period that were alone. I told him I don't want our relationship to be predictable and boring. Like for instance, whenever I go to his empty house I don't want us to have the mentality that we are going to hookup. I'm a kind of person that says, "If it happens, it happens". I don't want it to be predictable, you know? Anyway, we had a huge fight because he says I always do this but i don't, I did it once before and it was for the same reason. We resolved it before, but now it seems we are not getting anywhere on this matter. Anyway my question is how do I approach the matter to him and how do we come to an understanding on the matter that can make us both happy.
P.S: It's not that I don't want to hookup, I would have if I could. But I just don't think it will help our relationship. I don't want to get bored with him. I like him way to much to let our relationship to turn predictable and boring.
Sorry, it's kind of long. I have a lot to say. (link)
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First, you should know that if you ever hook up with your boyfriend when you don't want to, you're going to associate him with making you do things you don't want to do. Once you realize someone is forcing you to do something you don't want to do, no matter how small of a deal it is, it always blows up into a huge deal. My advice: just say NO and mean it.
You mentioned that you've had this discussion with him before but it continues to happen. So there must have been a time or two (maybe more) when you gave into him when you really didn't want to. If that's the case, my advice is to stop it completely. Stick up for yourself and tell him that you're willing to compromise on some things, but not when it comes to something as important as this.
Your boyfriend doesn't seem to take into consideration that there are other things you'd rather be doing with him sometimes. That's a problem, and if you don't resolve the problem now, it'll turn into an even bigger problem later on. You need to gain control of the situation now. He's like a puppy who'll pee anywhere any chance he gets. You have to train him or it won't stop.
There's going to come a time when you realize that his happiness shouldn't mean that you have to be unhappy. You two have to talk it out, and you have to be completely honest with him about how you feel. He needs to realize that the less he pressures you, the more you'll want to be with him. And the truth is, the more he pressures you, the less you're going to want to hook up.
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Rating: 5
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okay that was great advice, but it's not that i don't want it to happen I just don't want our relationship to lie only in hooking up. Also, he is an amazing person and he always tries not to pressure me but it does come out that way sometimes. It's not like he is trying to get in my pants all the time. Thanks though, I get the point of what your saying.
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