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Q: To start off, I am 16/f :D
I don't know why but I've been feeling down lately. Bit depressive to be precise. I know I shouldn't feel any sad because I have lot of good thing going on for me. I got pretty decent grades for mid term, my mom's trusting me more, I've got a great boyfriend, made new friends and whatnot.
However, I can't help but to wonder, how long will my relationship last with him? Just for record, I never had relationship longer than 2 weeks. Previous relationships just ended weirdly. It was either me dumping a guy because I kinda got over them, which is bad but it was better than me just hanging on to them for the sake of their sadness that might come, or it just ended with neither of us breaking up. So I decided to give my self some break so I haven't had any relationships for over 6 months before my current boyfriend. And this new guy I'm going out with, I've been going out with him for a week and 3 days, so it has yet to hit 2 weeks. He's great and all but I don't know... Little things that gets to me. Like he doesn't talk to me at all online when he's on AIM, I mean he kind of ignores me until I IM him first, and when I saw him today at work, he didn't hug me or kiss me goodbye. He appologized later on the phone something like..."I am sorry I didnt kiss you goodbye, my workers would've gave me a hardtime" or something like that, meaning pretty much the same but I can't remember what he exactly said. But obviously he doesn't care if other people see's because he can apparently kiss me in some restaurants and whatnot out in public, and in front of his best friend and my friends, so I am probably making a big deal when it's not because I tend to do that sometimes. So I want to confront him about that, which I am even not sure about how I am going to say without sounding like I am mad... So basically, I am just lost... I am not even sure I'm mad or disappointed, confused. What's going on in my head?
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Slow down. I think you might be reading too much into it. Since it is pretty early in the relationship, give him some time. Why should you expect him to be exactly the way you imagine him within the first two weeks? It's very difficult to expect that and hit it off.
Yeah you can talk to him about it, but don't present it as something that needs to be changed immediately, drastically. I know that for most guys, me included, it takes some time to get into the routine of a relationship. So maybe he doesn't always call or IM you - that doesn't mean that he doesn't want to talk to you.
With a few of my friends, it took them awhile to not care about getting a hard time from other people. Give it some time, he'll get over it. So if you want to talk about it, wait a few days to do it. If you say it as soon as it hits you, then you might sound mad without meaning to. Try giving it a few days, maybe four or five, to see if you still feel the same way or if its changed.
When you talk to him, if you decide to, then tell him ahead of time that you don't mean it in a bad way, you aren't mad, and for him not to take it the wrong way. That should ease things up. Be straightforward and whatever you do (too many girls do this), don't think for him. If he does something in particular, don't just decide that you know exactly what he must be thinking or intending. Give him a chance to vent and explain for himself. Hope that helped and good luck.
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Thank you so much for the great advice! I can't thank you enough, especially to hear the story from guy's point of view! Thank you so much again and keep up the great work!!!
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bio
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Feel free to ask me any questions or for an alternate way of contacting me through my inbox.
I really like giving advice, so thats why I have a column here. I've been inactive for a long time, but I'm back and will do my best to catch up. Advicenators is a great site and it is what we make it. Having my own advice column helped me learn a lot of new things, even about myself, while giving me the chance to help others along the way. Thanks.
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Info
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Gender: Male Location: New York Occupation: Student Age: 18 Member Since: August 10, 2005 Answers: 674 Last Update: July 10, 2009 Visitors: 54829
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