Hey feel free to drop one in my inbox anytime.

I remember feeling the same way you did - I never had a girlfriend and was afraid I would never really get one. So I just stood by and became an observer, taking notice of all the things people tried, what worked, and what didn't.

First off, you should never find a boyfriend for the sake of having one. In most, if not all cases, that will end up falling apart since the girl (you in this case) would feel so happy and so great at first, only to have your dreams shattered because nothing is what you expected it would be. In other words, your happiness would turn out to be short-lived and when things break off, you might even feel worse than you did before anything happened.

You find each other. Honestly, and I speak from experience, to have a lasting relationship, it has to start off from a strong, lasting friendship. You should be really good friends, be able to take a joke from each other, and feel comfortable. Yes, that does take time.

Trust me, and I hope you aren't the only one to read this, but that whole "I saw him a few times and he was looking at me and smiled, so I have a crush on him but I've never talked to him so let me find a way to ask him out" relationships are fragile and will end just as quickly as they started.

I've been dating the same girl for three and a half years now, and I've learned a lot. I'm not perfect. She's not perfect (but pretty darn close =P). But that doesn't matter. We are each different - so different that you'll never find what you are looking for on the spot. You have to spend less time looking for the right person to love, and spend more time on being a loving person. Why? Because ultimately, any good friend you are close to will change for you, to your liking. I changed a lot and my girlfriend did too, but not because we forced each other to. It just happened.

So nothing is wrong with you. Friendships are something I put great value on. I can see you do too. Don't go looking for love, because if you do you'll end up finding everything else but that. Work on developing your friendships. Please, be honest and straightforward with a guy if you do have feelings for him. Keep things simple. If you have any other questions, just let me know. Hope that helped and good luck.

thank you so much.
i hope you know, you are amazing with words, seriously. this all has helped me so much, its actualy quite a comfort, and it makes me feel so much better, because you get exactly where i am coming from.

Feel free to ask me any questions or for an alternate way of contacting me through my inbox.

I really like giving advice, so thats why I have a column here. I've been inactive for a long time, but I'm back and will do my best to catch up. Advicenators is a great site and it is what we make it. Having my own advice column helped me learn a lot of new things, even about myself, while giving me the chance to help others along the way. Thanks.

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