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Q: Hi.My name is Jessica I am a female,16 years old. I have a question concerning my ex-boyfriend. First of all to give you some history-we have known each other for almost five years now. We went out for a year,and I am really close to his family. When he broke up with me a year ago it was very tragic. I went through a short period of depression and his mom was upset about it as well. I didnt think I would ever start talking to him again even though I still talked to his mom and brother. Then about 5 months ago in July we started talking again when we ran into each other at the mall,after a whole year. At first he wasn't sure I would keep talking to him after what he had done,so he called everynight and seemed real interested and acted really sweet. We dont see each other that much so the few times we have seen each other since we started talkindg again we have gotten physical. Not sex or anything but sexual contact. Now that we have been talking for about 6 months now,he just doesnt seem as enthusiastic. I mean,if I call him he will answer and talk but he doesnt hardly ever call me i have to call him. I try not calling him for a few days but he still doesnt call. Then when I call he acts like its no big deal we haven't talked on the phone for like 8 days. Is he getting tired of me again or is he just comfortable now because he knows i am not going to stop talking to him?
thanks a lot for your time.

Hmm this is a tough one...

Nobody likes the guessing game. Confront him and ask him straightforward if he has feelings for you. Ask him if he is considering a relationship, but at the same time let him know that you are.

Also, with the calling issue. This is more a guy thing, not directed toward him. Unlike girls, it doesn't occur to most guys to call as often as they do. Why? Because how often do guys use the phone to begin with. If they aren't talking to a girl already, they use it to meet up people or get rides. Yeah sure, most would call if they had to, but not all will "just to talk". Not saying that isn't a good reason, but for guys it doesn't really occur to them. If you want to, you can even mention it to him and ask that he call you first more often.

Personally, I don't think he has strong feelings. It does look like he is just comfortable now... But on the other hand, as in any relationship/friendship, the enthusiasm dies down little by little. That's not a bad thing, it's just natural. But still talk to him about it and ask him how he really feels, cause that is the only way you will really know.

I say keep talking to him, but don't expect too much. If he didn't particularly say that he wants you to call him, then don't think that. Really, guys are simple - we don't think 21 steps ahead and over analyze like some girls do. Feel free to still be his friend, but if you want a relationship you are going to have to take the initiative. It may be that he doesn't want one, and thats OK. Ask him everything on your mind and let him know exactly how you feel and what you want...then go from there. Hope that helped and good luck. Let me know again if you need more help.

Rating: 5

thank u so much 4 your help I honestly appreciate it!

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I really like giving advice, so thats why I have a column here. I've been inactive for a long time, but I'm back and will do my best to catch up. Advicenators is a great site and it is what we make it. Having my own advice column helped me learn a lot of new things, even about myself, while giving me the chance to help others along the way. Thanks.