askHectorJr
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Q: Hey, you seem to be really good at advice, so I chose to ask you for advice.

I seem to be getting really stressed out and depressed probably because of working a lot from my job, and working endlessly at school. I can't give up neither because I want to graduate and also, have money for the Holidays this year and the following years. Going back and forth between the two just stresses me out, and I never get a day off. I can't remember the last time I had a day off. Also, it's affecting my social life at school. Since I am always tired and stressed, I start to lose interest of hanging out with friends. I am almost always quiet at the lunch table, when I used to be loud and happy before this school year started. I miss the old days, and I just can't seem to gain my interest of being with my friends. And because of that, I am slowly drifting apart from my best friends, and it makes me even more depressed. I am asking if you have any advice how I can gain happiness in life and general, keeping my job and staying school, and getting close with my best friends again.

I apoligize for the long message. I hope you can help =]. Thanks in advance!
No problem, and feel free to ask me again any other time. Lets see...

You need to set aside time for your friends. Just like you do for your job and school work, give yourself a definite time where you could hang out with friends, or just call them & IM them if you can't actually go somewhere. Keep in touch with as many of them as you can. Find close friends you can vent to and share your problems with, while maybe even listening to theirs.

I know what you mean about not having a day off. In the last three years, I have yet to have a day, or moment, where I am bored and really have nothing to do. Take everything one step at a time.

Before anything comes school. That means studying for tests and homework comes before your job and your friends. Is that a bad thing? Not really - you need to manage your time and get things done as quickly as possible, without losing accuracy. Do not procrastinate.

Tired a lot? Understandable. I've been getting 12 hours of sleep a week lately. I would suggest to try going to sleep as early as you can. If that means going to your job and then doing homework right afterwards, then so be it. I'm sure you'd like to keep your job.

Relax. Find an outlet. You need someone or something you can just let it all out on. Music? I get a mental flu when I don't listen to my music for more than a week. Talk to your friends about anything, even if its your job or something you heard on the news, just anything. So that you don't drift apart, try to keep updated on what is going on in their lives by asking them at school, over the phone, or online. Try to plan stuff to do on the weekends with them (if your job allows it).

Don't dwell on it either. You realize your tired and stressed and that everything is tough. Well, don't make the same mistake I did and think about it class after class, day after day. It adds up and just gets me more stressed out which tires me more. So try as much as you can to just not think about your stress. Release it somehow, even if it means writing down how much you dislike something/one or whatever it may be.

It's going to take a lot of effort and work on your part, but once you learn to effectively manage your time, you will see a great improvement. I'm still working on it for me, so I would suggest just some trial and error. See what works for you and what doesn't. If doing your homework and studying as soon as you can gets you results, then go for it. Try going to sleep earlier if you stay up later than you should, and try waking up earlier to see if you can get some work/studying done. There's a lot of different things you can do, just try anything out and find out what works for you. Keep up with your job - if you see that it is taking a toll on your health and sleep and schoolwork, talk to your parents about it. I don't think it would be a good idea to keep the job if it will end up hurting you in the long run. Sure it is nice to have some extra cash, but like you said, you want to graduate, and that comes through school first. Try to stay active with your friends and get to know what is going on and who did/said what, even if you don't say that much anyways.

Relax. Take one day at a time. We only live once, so try to make the most of it and don't be so hard on yourself. Have some fun, chill with your friends. Hope that helped and good luck, let me know if you need anything else.

thanks!

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HectorJr
Feel free to ask me any questions or for an alternate way of contacting me through my inbox.

I really like giving advice, so thats why I have a column here. I've been inactive for a long time, but I'm back and will do my best to catch up. Advicenators is a great site and it is what we make it. Having my own advice column helped me learn a lot of new things, even about myself, while giving me the chance to help others along the way. Thanks.

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