askHectorJr
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Q: I was always against abortion. I am 16 years old and pregnant. I have a boyfriend for 5 monghs now and we never had sex. The problem is that on a night out with a friend of mine "girl" I got raped. Somebody must have sleeped me that ruffy cause I do not remember anything and woke up the next day feeling like my head is going to explode. That happen over 45 days ago.
My parents now, we told them its my boyfriends and it is my fault cuase my parents have been through a lot and I really dont want them to know. I consider myself mature enough to battle with my own problems and mistakes. I consider it to be my fault since I was not carefull enough. Plus, them knowing would change a lot.
I definately do not want to keep that baby, I definately am not ready to become a mother especially on such an occasion and already too many people know. My parents want me to keep it even though we are not wealthy at all.
I know that after 3 months you can now longer have an abortion so I am running out of time. How do I convince my parents to let me do it? And...if they dont allow me to, I ll do it myself. What could change then? How will I be able to make them, accept my choice. My boyfriend has been really understanding with the hole situation and really helpfull. He is the one willing to give the money for such an...act.
I am ready to do anything it takes not to have that baby, If I have to punch myself in the stomach, I ll do it.
People from my church also know. They will never take me back after such a thing. My boyfriend sais he could move far away with me were we will work and go to school at the same time.
Just on what you said towards the end: How can they not take you back after an abortion? I'm not sure which church you go to, but it would seem that most, if not all church (I'm guessing its Christian, sorry if its not), would preach some sort of forgiveness. There's a big problem if they don't accept you because of that. God never hates the person, he just doesn't like what they do.

I'm strongly against abortion, but I won't give you that argument. I will caution you that doing something to yourself could permanently damage you. I've heard a lot of stories where they tried to use hangers or other methods - they got rid of the baby, but with that the chance to ever have one again. Please think things through carefully, I'm aware its not easy.

That whole part about moving away to work and go to school... Not too sure about that. For people under 18 (I'm assuming he is), it's very difficult to just pick up and leave somewhere and start things up all over again.

I'll save the abortion advice for other people, I'm offering my thoughts on those other things. The church should accept you back, doing something to yourself could lead to serious complications, and the realism of picking up and leaving just doesn't hold solid when people will be looking for you. Think things through. Honestly, I don't see why more people don't consider adoption before they consider abortion.

There's more than a million couples on the waiting list for an adopted baby - you can't say its unwanted. There are more agencies available to help raising children financially and in other areas, than there are agencies to help women with the aftershocks of abortion. Anyways I'll leave it up to you. Hope that helped and good luck. Keep strong.

Thanks a lot, I was never willing to harm myself, I must have given the wrong idea when I told my story. Thanks anyways. More than a million couples on the waiting list got me thinking for a while but I am not changing my mind. It is going to happen soon as my days are almost over.
Thank you very much this site is wonderfull.

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HectorJr
Feel free to ask me any questions or for an alternate way of contacting me through my inbox.

I really like giving advice, so thats why I have a column here. I've been inactive for a long time, but I'm back and will do my best to catch up. Advicenators is a great site and it is what we make it. Having my own advice column helped me learn a lot of new things, even about myself, while giving me the chance to help others along the way. Thanks.

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