I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
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my brother has this thing that he has to be better than me in everything i do. for example we were in a arcade and they had that basketball game where u shoot the balls and i got a higher score than he did and he didnt show it but i knew that it bothered him that i beat him in basketball.. even hate home when we are playin like horse or something he gets mad when i keep gettin them in and he keeps missing also i have been hip hop dancing for 6 years and my bro always has to try and show off dance moves in front of me even tho he cant dance that good and he's like ha i bet you cant do that and i just play dumb and say no i cant do that.. i mean its soo annoying that he has to compete in everything i can do... what should i do i mean its so dumb for a 19 year old to compete with me and im only 14 its kinda pathetic
so what should i do about it??? (link)
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Rivalry like this is extremely common in siblings, particularly when they are younger. Admittedly, at 19 years old, he should have learnt how to deal with jealousy.
That's really what it is. He is jealous that you are so talented and because all jealousy is rooted in low self esteem and self consciousness, he feels bad about himself when he compares himself to you. The only way, in his mind, he will be successful is to triumph over you at something that you are known to be good at. However small the win may be, it will be very important to him.
Unfortunately, there will be very little you can do about this, as the problem is with him, rather than with you and he needs to realise in his own time that he shouldn't be comparing himself to his sister and that by wasting his time trying to compete with you for attention and admiration through what you are good at, he is missing the opportunity to find something he is equally good at.
For now, the only thing you can do is to let him have his little attempts at grabbing some of the limelight until he realises he needs to find his own thing. That, or you could help him try to find something he is good at. However, I will warn you that broaching a conversation like this with him will possibly spark a heated argument because he will object to being guided by his younger sister. He won't like that, no matter how well-meaning you are.
In the meantime, grin and bear it. The good news is that as he is older, he is closer to the time where he will be moving out and will have more of an opportunity to find something he is good at. When he's found it, he will completely ease off trying to steal the limelight from you. Just let him have the odd victory now and then.
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