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my 19 year old bro get jealous of his own lil sis


Question Posted Monday September 4 2006, 12:37 am

my brother has this thing that he has to be better than me in everything i do. for example we were in a arcade and they had that basketball game where u shoot the balls and i got a higher score than he did and he didnt show it but i knew that it bothered him that i beat him in basketball.. even hate home when we are playin like horse or something he gets mad when i keep gettin them in and he keeps missing also i have been hip hop dancing for 6 years and my bro always has to try and show off dance moves in front of me even tho he cant dance that good and he's like ha i bet you cant do that and i just play dumb and say no i cant do that.. i mean its soo annoying that he has to compete in everything i can do... what should i do i mean its so dumb for a 19 year old to compete with me and im only 14 its kinda pathetic

so what should i do about it???


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DearChrissie3737 answered Sunday September 10 2006, 3:39 pm:
Hey. A LOT of people have a problem with competitiveness and I know, it's very annoying! It also makes you feel as if you have to compete back sometimes, right? Or just pretend that you're bad at something so you don't have to hear him act all upset, mad, or angry. Well I would talk to your mom or dad about it. Now they may feel bad because it's their son and may not make you feel any better because they love both of you so much and wouldn't talk about either of you to the other one. Obviously, right? But they may help out and have a talk with the both of you :). Another option is talking to your brother about it and telling him exactly how you feel. He will probably get really angry but if you don't do this it may never end. Next time you're about to play a game with him say no thanks because every time we play a game and I win you get all upset and I don't want that. He may continue to insist that you are going to play but it will lessen his desire to act all upset. I hope this helped even if only a little and please give me feedback my friend.
Chrissie

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lizzielovesyou answered Wednesday September 6 2006, 5:47 pm:
my brother is like this too and it cuased alot of problems between us.simply explain to him what the dangers are in your relationship.tell him that he dosnt have to be better at you at everything u will still love him either way.just dont loes your temper.u think that it is pathatic for your 19 your old broother,now you know how it feels to have a 23 year old brother be like that.
welll let me know how it all works out
lots of love,lizzie

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MelLeDisko answered Monday September 4 2006, 12:40 pm:
Sibling rivalry is usually normal with every family. The youngest is the one usually to get all the attention since they're the youngest [ idk if you get all the attention though ] but if you do, AND you're talented, your brother is probably just majorly jealous of you. Cause he's supposed to be you know the "bigger older better brother".

There's not much you can do in a situation like this, though. Because it's nothing that you're doing. He's just trying to prove to himself that he's better then you and everything, so he kind of has to realize that and work it out with himself.

But, if I were you, the most I would do is just try and show him he's talented so maybe he might try to back off a little. The next time he does a dance move, be like "hey, that's really cool." and if he goes,"I bet you can't do that", just be like,"Haha, you're right. I don't think I can. But that's a real cool move though." So it shows him he got good moves and makes him feel good and gives him a little bit of "the spot light". Or maybe the next time you two play basketball, just and mess up a few baskets. I'm not saying lose on purpose or something, but make it so it's a real close game and at the end wether you do win or lose, just be like,"Whew! That was an awseome game, we were so close, haha." So it shows he's real good and all. I hope I helped.

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Vikki27 answered Monday September 4 2006, 7:29 am:
Rivalry like this is extremely common in siblings, particularly when they are younger. Admittedly, at 19 years old, he should have learnt how to deal with jealousy.

That's really what it is. He is jealous that you are so talented and because all jealousy is rooted in low self esteem and self consciousness, he feels bad about himself when he compares himself to you. The only way, in his mind, he will be successful is to triumph over you at something that you are known to be good at. However small the win may be, it will be very important to him.

Unfortunately, there will be very little you can do about this, as the problem is with him, rather than with you and he needs to realise in his own time that he shouldn't be comparing himself to his sister and that by wasting his time trying to compete with you for attention and admiration through what you are good at, he is missing the opportunity to find something he is equally good at.

For now, the only thing you can do is to let him have his little attempts at grabbing some of the limelight until he realises he needs to find his own thing. That, or you could help him try to find something he is good at. However, I will warn you that broaching a conversation like this with him will possibly spark a heated argument because he will object to being guided by his younger sister. He won't like that, no matter how well-meaning you are.

In the meantime, grin and bear it. The good news is that as he is older, he is closer to the time where he will be moving out and will have more of an opportunity to find something he is good at. When he's found it, he will completely ease off trying to steal the limelight from you. Just let him have the odd victory now and then.

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