I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 70166
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Hi, I'm going into 10th grade 16/m- and school hasn't even started yet...
Well.. the harrassment has been going on since 4th grade...
Basically all the popular people and the majority of my class think that I'm a fag (like gay).. but I'm not.. I have a girlfriend of 6 months.. and we're really happy together...
I don't even act gay at all.. everyone just thinks I am.. and I think it's because most of my friends are girls.. but I don't understand why that would make me gay- because wouldn't that mean that I like hanging out with girls because they are nice to me??
I just feel like no one cares about me and everyone is making fun of me
Another thing.. I am one of the smartest people in the class (4.0 average).. and I always do good on tests.. do people make fun of me because they are jealous that I get good grades and they don't.. I mean I don't go around bragging about my grades.. people ask me what I got.. and I just tell them in a modest way...
I don't understand why everyone thinks I'm a homo.. when I'm not...
oh.. and on myspace- I put up a picture that was the one everyone does (upside down peace sign with big sunglasses).. so then one of the people who makes fun of me posts a comment about it saying "wow ur a homo" so i posted a comment back saying "i was making fun of myspace.. lol".. so then he posts regular comments saying stuff like "i wasn't kidding about the pic comment" and "everyone thinks you're a fag" and "we hate you"...
So that just made me think of how much my class despises me- and I don't even say anything mean to them.. I try being nice.. but they just aren't.. the only ones who actually care about me are my close friends.. and that's only like 10 people max. outta the 250-300 in my class...
Am I just worried about nothing?
Am I really that much of a loser?
Please don't say "go talk to a counselor" because I tried that in middle school and the counselor was really stupid about it
Please help!
sorry this was so long (link)
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Oh, you poor thing!!! You know, I went through exactly the same thing when I was at school. I went to an all girls school and was in a class where, for no particular reason, they all just took an instant dislike to me. I remember one group of girls in the class following me around on a lunch break, repeatedly asking me if I was homosexual or heterosexual. At that age I didn't know the difference so you can imagine what happened there.
The thing you need to realise is that bullying is mainly rooted in insecurity. People are having a hard time with growing up, problems at home, problems at school, self esteem issues etc and they pick someone they feel is vulnerable and weak to help make them feel more superior.
No, you aren't worried about nothing and don't EVER let yourself believe otherwise. Bullying is a very serious issue. Please also bear in mind that being the victim of bullying does NOT make you a loser. It took me a long time to realise this (around 5 years after I left school, to be precise) but the problem is NEVER with you. It's with them. Are you out picking on someone and making them miserable? No. Are you deliberately demeaning others to make you look big? No. Are you trying to use others so that you feel better about yourself? No. These people are. That makes them very pathetic and small minded.
You are an excellent student, with what sounds like a steady girlfriend and a developed sense of self. You're not a loser. You're better than them.
A lot of people in my position right now would probably tell you to talk to a teacher at your school but I'm not going to do that. If they make serious threats against you then perhaps you should mention it and you should definitely let your parents know what is going on. However, I would discourage you frm allowing them to do anything unless things progress to the stage when you are in real physical danger. Having been through the same experience, I found it made it a lot worse when they found out I had 'told on them'.
Instead, hold your head high. Ignore what they say. Don't speak to them but DO look them straight in the eye when they talk to you. When they're done with their insults, roll your eyes or look bored and just walk away. If you don't respond with sadness or fear, they won't be getting the rise they want so badly that makes them feel good. In the meantime, keep studying because you will regret it forever if you let their pathetic behaviour ruin your education and do what makes you happy, regardless of what they say.
If you need someone to talk to at any time, I will be happy to listen or talk about thie further so feel free to contact me.
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