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i'm being harrassed by people in my class
Hi, I'm going into 10th grade 16/m- and school hasn't even started yet...
Well.. the harrassment has been going on since 4th grade...
Basically all the popular people and the majority of my class think that I'm a fag (like gay).. but I'm not.. I have a girlfriend of 6 months.. and we're really happy together...
I don't even act gay at all.. everyone just thinks I am.. and I think it's because most of my friends are girls.. but I don't understand why that would make me gay- because wouldn't that mean that I like hanging out with girls because they are nice to me??
I just feel like no one cares about me and everyone is making fun of me
Another thing.. I am one of the smartest people in the class (4.0 average).. and I always do good on tests.. do people make fun of me because they are jealous that I get good grades and they don't.. I mean I don't go around bragging about my grades.. people ask me what I got.. and I just tell them in a modest way...
I don't understand why everyone thinks I'm a homo.. when I'm not...
oh.. and on myspace- I put up a picture that was the one everyone does (upside down peace sign with big sunglasses).. so then one of the people who makes fun of me posts a comment about it saying "wow ur a homo" so i posted a comment back saying "i was making fun of myspace.. lol".. so then he posts regular comments saying stuff like "i wasn't kidding about the pic comment" and "everyone thinks you're a fag" and "we hate you"...
So that just made me think of how much my class despises me- and I don't even say anything mean to them.. I try being nice.. but they just aren't.. the only ones who actually care about me are my close friends.. and that's only like 10 people max. outta the 250-300 in my class...
Am I just worried about nothing?
Am I really that much of a loser?
Please don't say "go talk to a counselor" because I tried that in middle school and the counselor was really stupid about it
Please help!
sorry this was so long
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Unfortunately, I know exactly what you've been through. I got lucky though: we moved to another state, where I met tons of new friends and no one calls me "gay" anymore.
I went 3 years taking all of that crap you're talking about. I'm a junior, by the way. You have so many choices in how to deal with these immature, insecure, rude, disrespectful people.
But first, let me assure you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Don't give in to what they say. Don't question what they say. If they call you gay, don't start wondering if you are because you and I both know you're not. Think about your situation like this. If you were in a grocery store and a group of people came up to you and began to insult you, what would you think? You would probably think that they were just insignificant, careless people. That's what they are. It's kind of a mystery to me why such hatred is accepted at school, but never in public or at work.
Anyways, here are your choices.
1) Avoid them. If you know they go down a certain hall or eat lunch at a certain table, do not pass them. Block them on myspace, xanga, AIM, etc.
2) Like someone else said, just roll your eyes or sigh when you pass them (it will possibly make you seem mature. It might just add to their sick pleasure, so be careful).
3) Confront them. If they say "You're gay", just say "Well, you're a bitch". NOTE: You should consider the consequences of this. It could do wonders for you, but it could also dig your hole deeper than it already is. If you decide to do this, look for their faults. Are they fat? Acne-infested? Stupid? Ugly? Bring that to their attention.
In my own experiences, #1 helped, #2 helped temporarily, and #3 was just fun. I thought of it as a game. When they would make fun of me, I got upset at first, but then I didn't get upset. I just did what I would do to my friends: make fun of them back (you know how friends say stuff like "you're mean" and then you'd say "well you're ugly" and just laugh about it? That's what I mean. I'd treat the situation like that)
I will most definitely pray for you. It's times like these that really make you feel depressed and make you want to cry. It saddens me to read your question because I relate to it almost exactly and there's nothing I can really do to help. May God bless you. Your luck will turn around. And remember. 3 years seems like a long time, but high school flies by. You won't ever see them again after 3 more years, so why respect their opinion?
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I'm sorry that he's in your class. Try not to sit with him or be in a group project with him. You might want to talk to your teacher after class one day and just say "So-and-so and I aren't really good friends, so could you not pair us as partners or seat us near each other?" She should understand.
Again, I really hope things get better for you. If you ever need to talk, my sn is xilikeporkx.
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haha dude we had a kid in my old class we all made fun of him saying he was gay just to see how far we could push him ... i say just deal with it.
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ok first of all they are the fags second you are not a loser and third what yo could do is if you gf is up to it just try making the people who make fun of you jealous show them that you have a gf and that you both love each other alot just like kiss her alot in front of them or something an if they are jealous about you getting good grades and stuff just tell them they could to if they focused and put ther mind to it now i hope i helped i dont get usualy answer alot of questions like this so i'm not sure if it will help but i'm srry if i didnt and if you need a friend to talk to or for advice i could possibly help plus i'm looking for someone to talk to also and myabe you could help so if you want we can talk on aim my sn is everyonesproblem@aim.com or yahoomessanger For_ever_ur_problem@yahoo.com so please help hope i helped and if not i'm srry again
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Oh, you poor thing!!! You know, I went through exactly the same thing when I was at school. I went to an all girls school and was in a class where, for no particular reason, they all just took an instant dislike to me. I remember one group of girls in the class following me around on a lunch break, repeatedly asking me if I was homosexual or heterosexual. At that age I didn't know the difference so you can imagine what happened there.
The thing you need to realise is that bullying is mainly rooted in insecurity. People are having a hard time with growing up, problems at home, problems at school, self esteem issues etc and they pick someone they feel is vulnerable and weak to help make them feel more superior.
No, you aren't worried about nothing and don't EVER let yourself believe otherwise. Bullying is a very serious issue. Please also bear in mind that being the victim of bullying does NOT make you a loser. It took me a long time to realise this (around 5 years after I left school, to be precise) but the problem is NEVER with you. It's with them. Are you out picking on someone and making them miserable? No. Are you deliberately demeaning others to make you look big? No. Are you trying to use others so that you feel better about yourself? No. These people are. That makes them very pathetic and small minded.
You are an excellent student, with what sounds like a steady girlfriend and a developed sense of self. You're not a loser. You're better than them.
A lot of people in my position right now would probably tell you to talk to a teacher at your school but I'm not going to do that. If they make serious threats against you then perhaps you should mention it and you should definitely let your parents know what is going on. However, I would discourage you frm allowing them to do anything unless things progress to the stage when you are in real physical danger. Having been through the same experience, I found it made it a lot worse when they found out I had 'told on them'.
Instead, hold your head high. Ignore what they say. Don't speak to them but DO look them straight in the eye when they talk to you. When they're done with their insults, roll your eyes or look bored and just walk away. If you don't respond with sadness or fear, they won't be getting the rise they want so badly that makes them feel good. In the meantime, keep studying because you will regret it forever if you let their pathetic behaviour ruin your education and do what makes you happy, regardless of what they say.
If you need someone to talk to at any time, I will be happy to listen or talk about thie further so feel free to contact me.
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Hey I'm going to be in tenth grade this year too, and that sucks that people are still SO IMATURE. I would say dont let it bother you, but it already has and it hurts too I'm sure. You sound like a sweet boy. They probably dont like you because you are different, and most people have problems accepting people who are "different, or more unique than other" which is sad, because variety is such the spice of life. Otherwise it would be so so boring and bland. Hey but you know the 10 people that do like you, that means the world to you. Treasure them, and feel bad for the people making fun of you, because I guess I would, that they have to go SO LOW to call someone gay,fag, and make up romours, and try to hurt someones feelings intentially. Wait until they grow up, they are going to live with this guilt forever. I mean, what they are doing now, it may not affect them now, but it will someday.
Your not worried about nothing, your worried about how long this is going ot keep up, why they are doing it, but people are shallow and dumbm and niave. We all need to grow up sometimes, especially them.
You do sound like a smart, extroadinary person, I'm so sorry these kids are being mean and cruel. I know what it feels to be picked on, just never that badly, but I know it hurts and its stressful. I don tthink you are a loser either. You have been the bigger person in this situation, so they are the losers.
If you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to IM me at KaylehMae :]
<33
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You shouldn't worry about what they think. Don't judge your self worth on what other people say.
I have kind of a similar situation. I am not very social at all and am hated by the school. I don't care, though, since I don't want to be liked by people I hate in the first place. Be glad that you have at least ten close friends.
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You're not a loser. Kids today might not even literally be calling you "gay". That word today has so many different meanings. It can mean like "you're dumb" "that's stupid/sucks", etc.
They're probably just jealous because you're doing so well in school and you get better grades than them, and especially the guys'll be jealous that you hang out with all the girls alot and are friends with them.
And of course, it's highschool. What do people always do, especially the popular people? They pick on eachother. And usually they pick on others because they have their own little insecurites about themselves, so they take it out on others and bring them down and make them feel horrible about themselves, just to make themselves feel better and look better to other people. Some people are such jerks.
What I suggest doing is just forgetting about them and ignoring them. Even if you only have 10 friends, they're 10 friends that like you for you, and won't even make fun of you, and are there for you and you can hang out with and have fun. So just enjoy the rest of your school experience [ and you'll only be there for 2 more years, it's not like you'll see these people for the rest of your life ] and just have fun with your friends. Who cares what the popular people have to say? Once they hit college, their opinions'll mean nothing. Gah, anyways. Sorry for the rant, but I hope I helped. <3
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first of all you're not gay and you know that obviously.the word homo or gay is used to describe many tihngs in our society. and alot of the time the meaning of the word doesnt even fit the situation it is used in so don't take it so personally. teenagers are afraid of things they arent used to. so to cover those insecurities they make fun of them. you're different than the other guys in your grade and thats not a bad thing. some guys may be jealous that most of your friends are girls and that theirs arent. also the fact that you are smarter than most of them. just keep a posotive out look and dont let the things they say get to you. i mean they can't make fun of you forever. have you tried laughing with them like making it a joke? that might work. if you dont respond the way they want you to when they make fun of you its not entertaining for them so they'll eventually stop. just remember that what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger!!!
Kait♥
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Kids have started useing the word "gay" for name-calling all the time. But they don't mean it litterally. They just want to diss gay people AND diss you at the same time. So, it's definately not cool of them to be saying "gay" like it's a bad word. In fact, I'd probably throw something at them if I heard something like that. But that's just me, you shouldn't do that.
Anyway, the lesson here is that some people suck. These jerks that are being turds suck. Even if they were so great, there's no reason for them to be mean to someone. They probably do wish they could be hanging around the girls you know. Some people just don't know how to control themselves, but at least you can.
I suggest that you just stick to the friends you do have. Don't spend your time worring about some jerks who don't know how to be a good friend. School can be stressful because of all the people in it. Just remember that you wont be in there forever. If you just ignore the turds bugging you, they will probably get tired of wasting their time. And you're friends will be there for you when you need them.
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the people at your school sound like fags themselves! obviously you don't act like you're gay, and most normal dudes hang out with a lot of girls. they're probably all jealous of your grades. i know, i get crap about my grades all the time because everybody thinks i'm the perfect child, when really i'm not. i can't exactly tell you to ignore them because it sounds like that really won't help. it sounds like all these guys want is to get a rise out of you. honestly, from what you've said, i can't think of any other reason why they would harass you like this because if a guy has a girlfriend, it's obvious he's not gay. if i were you, i would just hang out with close friends and tell everybody else to piss off. EDIT: aww, thanks :)
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sometimes you have to let every one go.
Obviously you AND your friends know you aren't gay, so what's it matter about the rest of your class?
Even if you were gay, nothing wrong with that.
A lot of teenagers need a scapegoat to take all their anger out on, and it happens to be you, but if you act like you don't care and if you act confident
nothing can really affect you, right?
and a 4.0 GPA
look at it this way--
one day, they might all work for you.
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