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Q: Phewf. Okay. 15/f. (This is coming from a girl who has NEVER had sex...and won't for a long time)
Okay. I like guys. I like girls too, though. I would love to have a relationship with a guy. ANYTHING EXCEPT having ANYTHING to do with male genitalia....It just GROSSES me out COMPLETELY. Yet, I don't find myself a lesbian. I just CANNOT imagine being penetrated by a guy/oral sex, etc. I find it utterly disgusting (forgive me If this is offending). But....on the other hand, I would also LOVE to have a relationship with a girl..and the thing is - I DON'T MIND being sexual with a girl at all! It's like - BRING IT ON. (lol)...I find this very strange. But I get extremely aroused when I see a picture of a naked woman....or something. But, when I (if ever) get to see a naked man...I'm just grossed out. It's as if, with a guy....it's only everything ABOVE his pants, that I am "optimistic" about. AND HERE'S ANOTHER PROBLEM - I don't want sex with a guy, But I want a baby in the future! With a girl...it's flat out, straight - "BRING IT ON". Am I normal?
Help, please?
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Yes, you're normal. You're a completely normal lesbian. This may sound obvious, but the definition of a lesbian is a girl who is only sexually attracted to other girls. And that's exactly you. Don't worry about the label, being a lesbian can be a good thing. I know I was afraid of that label because of all of the stigma that goes with it. But some of us lesbians don't always fit the stereotype, and it doesn't make you any less of a lesbian. I hope that helps.
**********
P.S.
I noticed you changed your question a little. If you're still confused, you can add me on myspace, the link to my site is www.myspace.com/paperbecky
or IM me on aol @ becstasyshock and I'd be happy to give you more advice/info
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Q: I have some acne scars [cysts] or just usual acne.
Is there any way to lighten or get rid of them?
It's all over my face and it bothers me I guess.
Is there some cream that I could use? [And does it work? Did you see results or a friend]
because I don't want to waste money on a product that doesn't work.
I'm not using lemon juice.
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I think you can get some face peels and stuff like that at a dermatologist. They would tell you what you can do. They are always fixing those kind of problems with lasers and stuff all the time. It might be pricey, but it's worth asking them about.
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Q: OK... theres this girl at work that im REALLY into, and i know shes feelin me too. Shes currently with her girlfriend of about almost 2 years now, but their relationship has been on the rocks for awhile now. Before, i was giving her advice, and just trying to be there for her.. but things happened from there, and now i cant get her off my mind. The thing is.. we hooked up a few times, and yes... she is still with her girlfriend. She tells me that she doesnt know if she WANTS to be with her girlfriend, but she really does still love her. She tells me that she still wants me in her life, and i do want to be there... I know she has feelings for me... but shes just in a hard spot.
Now that her girlfriend is doing better, and her relationship "seems" to be doing ok... should i just find a way to drop my feelings for her and let her work on her relationship? Or should I keep things the way they are, and continue to be there for her?
I do want to be with her... but i want her to be happy..with me.. or with her girlfriend. I want to be here for her, to let it be known that im going to be here for her, but the way things are.. im the other woman.. and i dont like this feeling. should i back off?
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First off... it's gross that she goes home to her girlfriend covered in your sperm. Sperm stays alive for days in a woman's body. Sorry, but it's true. Aside from that, you are being used, dude. And it seems like she's more interested in her girlfriend or she would have left her for you especially since it's easy to be public "straight" then publicly "gay" even though I'm sure this girl is either bi or just a confused lesbian. But I can tell you this... she'll always be wanting a woman. You will never be able to completely satisfy her. If you did, she wouldn't need anyone else.
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Q: homecoming is coming up and i really want to dirty dance with my boyfriend.. but i dont know how to dance like that. what do i do?
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To be honest, dirty dancing is just dancing like a whore, lol. You basically just get skanky on the dance floor in front of your whole school. Perhaps you shouldn't worry too much about being good at freak dancing because the better you are at it, the closer you are to humping in front of all your friends. That's awkward. Just keep it tasteful. Either way, I'm sure you'll be out dancing your guy since guys just kinda stand and rock back and forth when they dance, lol. So don't worry about it. Just let it all come to you naturally. I'm sure you'll have a great time and you will look like you're having fun instead of just following dance steps.
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Q: i'm really terrified of how hard college will be..i'm not good at any classes except foreign languages and SOME math. whenever i try to study in high school i get so frustrated because of everything i have to know for a test and i start to have a nervous breakdown. i'm a slow and bad reader and i hear you have to read a lot in college and i'm not good at history english or science. i worry all the time about how hard it will be and what to do if it's too hard for me.. please help.
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The difficulty of college depends on your school, the classes, and the teachers. In my case, I was expecting worse, but it turned out to be not so hard. Some classes do have those strict teachers and detailed testing, but usually it is not too bad. Keep in mind that you have about half of the semester to decide if you want to drop the class. I have never droped a class, but I would if I was absolutely failing. Don't overbook your classes, only take a small amount in a semester unless you later decide based on your previous year that you can handle more. Include a few simple classes for grade point boosters. Even if it's not a required course and doesn't go toward your major, it will make up for one of the tough classes that you aren't getting such a good grade in. I've personally taken bowling, yoga, and other classes that are not difficult simply to put some ease in my work load and also to boost my grade. I would recommend signing up for some classes like that too. At my school, and probably at yours too, there is free tutoring available. I've never used it yet, but I think I might need to eventually. So if you feel lost, there is help. Another tip is that if you find yourself in a class with a great teacher that is not too hard, try to get classes with that same instructor. You'll know what to expect and you will have an advantage. This is something I've done very often. If you don't know the teachers, the councelor who helped you sign up for classes usually can tell you about the teachers. When I sign up for classes, I don't do them online for this purpose. I get an appointment with a school councelor and ask him about the difficulty of the class, how the teacher grades, and things like that. These are all just some simple ways to make college a little less difficult and managable!
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Q: okay, i have a question. So i've been dating someone for 4 years now. i, no questions asked, love him to death right. He was my first in everything but i wasn't his first in bed. After all these years he won't tell me who he first slept with. If i really think about it really it makes me a bit mad. He says he wants to at least keep something to himself. What do you guys think i really think i have the right to know, it makes me mad that i don't know. I rate well. ;)
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That would make anyone get so curious to the point of going crazy! lol. I would recommend seeing if you could get another reason why. Perhaps the first experience was actually something embarassing or painful. Like, if he was raped as a kid or something horrible like that. It might not be very likely, but if it was the case, I'm sure he wouldn't want to talk about it. There's also a good chance he's hiding it from you because it was someone you know. Maybe if you just reassure him that he doesn't have to worry about teling you, he might say who it was. But don't force him to tell you anything, it could be painful for him to think about, whether it left him heartbroken, the girl has a bad rep, or the whole experience was miserable.
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Q: I am 15/m and want to be a pro wrestler. Not Olympic or college, I mean the stuff on tv (yes I know its mostly fake). I need to get stronger but I dont know how to other than lifting weights. Is there anything I can get at a place like GNC that is not harmfull for someone my age and that is LEGAL? Any other things I can do?
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For gaining muscels, the best thing that could happen to your body is puberty. Guys gain a lot of strenth as they are about your age and for the next few years. I would say that you'll probably be getting a lot more muscel mass by the time you are 18 or so. It is hard to gain much muscel while you are still young, unfortunatly. Have you ever seen a 9 year old with huge arms? Of course not! That is because his body isn't able to grow that strength at that time. So, keep that in mind. Also, most things out there, such as pills, do have some negative effects. The negative side effects might not be too bad though, especially if you aren't on them for years straight. However, I'm pretty sure that every one of those is made for people 18 and up. When you get down to it, it's the basics that work. Lifting the weights and getting on a good diet should help. You could even see if you like raw eggs. Could be fun. Anyway, along with those weights, you'll want to do some excersizes with small reps. Perhaps one of the wrestlers you like has some tips out there on the internet that you could look up. I would check that out.
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Q: I'm in college and for my degree I need to take Biology, and that's a problem. In high school I passed biology with a 70 [the lowest passing grade] and that was with tutoring and extra credit! I've asked my friends what to do and they tell me to use "ratemyprofessors.com" to find out which teachers teach better and are easier. They say they do it for the classes that they're bad at, too. Should I use the website to save my grades?
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That's exactly what I did... almost creepy! lol. I signed up for a college biology class and was worried because I'm not that into science. I checked ratemyprofessor.com and found out that the teacher was horrible! People were saying that she was very unfair and even A students couldn't get any better than a C in that class! I quickly switched out at the last minute. I ended up taking an art class which saved my grade. If the subject you are signing up for isn't your strong point, find out what the teacher is like. If they aren't so bad, just try your best at it. If the teacher and the subject are bad, you might need to retake the class anyway, so just don't get into that mess if you don't have to. You can always request a different professor. Even if you need to wait another semester to fit in the class, it's better than a lower GPA and taking the class twice!
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Q: I have not yet lost my virginity...but i plan to very soon. I was wondering if there is a certain amount of time it takes to cum for the first time. And does it help to masturbate to prolong the experience.
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Ok, you obviously need to wait even longer before you have sex! If you don't even know how it works, you could be in A LOT of trouble! Seriously. But at least you're trying to find out.
First of all, if you're a girl, you probably won't cum the first time. Why? Because if your getting penetrated and it's ripping your vagina open, it's painful. If you try at it some other time when your flesh isn't being ripped apart, you have a better chance of an orgasum. There is no set time, though. And the guy will probably prove that to you in a matter of seconds. You also don't even need to have sex to orgasm. Do more reaserch about it but don't ask just some kids online. Go to a professional web site or read some articles. Many young people have it wrong and could tell you something that isn't true.
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Q: Hi, I'm going into 10th grade 16/m- and school hasn't even started yet...
Well.. the harrassment has been going on since 4th grade...
Basically all the popular people and the majority of my class think that I'm a fag (like gay).. but I'm not.. I have a girlfriend of 6 months.. and we're really happy together...
I don't even act gay at all.. everyone just thinks I am.. and I think it's because most of my friends are girls.. but I don't understand why that would make me gay- because wouldn't that mean that I like hanging out with girls because they are nice to me??
I just feel like no one cares about me and everyone is making fun of me
Another thing.. I am one of the smartest people in the class (4.0 average).. and I always do good on tests.. do people make fun of me because they are jealous that I get good grades and they don't.. I mean I don't go around bragging about my grades.. people ask me what I got.. and I just tell them in a modest way...
I don't understand why everyone thinks I'm a homo.. when I'm not...
oh.. and on myspace- I put up a picture that was the one everyone does (upside down peace sign with big sunglasses).. so then one of the people who makes fun of me posts a comment about it saying "wow ur a homo" so i posted a comment back saying "i was making fun of myspace.. lol".. so then he posts regular comments saying stuff like "i wasn't kidding about the pic comment" and "everyone thinks you're a fag" and "we hate you"...
So that just made me think of how much my class despises me- and I don't even say anything mean to them.. I try being nice.. but they just aren't.. the only ones who actually care about me are my close friends.. and that's only like 10 people max. outta the 250-300 in my class...
Am I just worried about nothing?
Am I really that much of a loser?
Please don't say "go talk to a counselor" because I tried that in middle school and the counselor was really stupid about it
Please help!
sorry this was so long
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Kids have started useing the word "gay" for name-calling all the time. But they don't mean it litterally. They just want to diss gay people AND diss you at the same time. So, it's definately not cool of them to be saying "gay" like it's a bad word. In fact, I'd probably throw something at them if I heard something like that. But that's just me, you shouldn't do that.
Anyway, the lesson here is that some people suck. These jerks that are being turds suck. Even if they were so great, there's no reason for them to be mean to someone. They probably do wish they could be hanging around the girls you know. Some people just don't know how to control themselves, but at least you can.
I suggest that you just stick to the friends you do have. Don't spend your time worring about some jerks who don't know how to be a good friend. School can be stressful because of all the people in it. Just remember that you wont be in there forever. If you just ignore the turds bugging you, they will probably get tired of wasting their time. And you're friends will be there for you when you need them.
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Q: 15/f;; my bf has awful mood swings [16/m]. ive been talkin to him since i got home from school so basically about 5 hours [this is normal haha] anyway he was totally fine and then like in the last hour he got super quiet and was just giving short little answers to questions -- mm hm. no. yeah. k. -- we didnt argue or anything, he jus kinda shifted moods. he does this a good bit. a lot of the time, hes not in a good mood when he comes home from work [he works at least 6 hours a day 5 days a week] so i try to cheer him up then, but he didnt even work today. he knows he can tell me anything and that ill be there for him nmw, but whenever i ask him whats wrong he always says 'nothing', when somethin clearly is botherin him. im a gerenally mellow happy optimistic person and do my best to cheer ppl up, and he says that i make him happy since im like that, but when he gets like that i really have no idea what to say to him. i have like no words of encouragement or anything. do yall kno anything i can say to help cheer him up?? i hate feeling helpless!! thx
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Sometimes there isn't really anything you can do. Of course there are little things you can say and everything, but if it doesn't fix the main problem, he will only temporarily be happy. It's also possible that he has depression. Does he see a pyschologist? It's not that rare to have depression. If he were to have it, he would not be able to control the feeling of sadness that he has. So, he wouldn't be able to help the fact that he is in this state of mind. But even if that's what he has, there are options. There are medications and such that would be available to him from his doctor. If he doesn't have depression, he could still be depressed. Sometimes people have depressive moments in life but it just isn't permenant. He could be feeling so stressed that it is fueling his sadness. Just offer him suggestions and see what he decideds to do about it. It is up to him to try to make a change and help himself.
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Q: hellllo
ok so lately whenever i look at the mirror i look at like every. single. thing. on my face. and i notice all the things wrong with it. it's really starting to annoy me because every day i notice more and more t hings that are wrong with my face and i never used to be like this! i used to just look in the mirror from like a foot away, for 10 seconds after i put on mascara and be like "i look nice today" and then be satisfied. now i have to pay attention more, and i just want to know how i can make myself not care as much. i still want to look nice but i just think that if i keep doing this my self esteem will definitely go down...and it's weird because im not girly at all or anything im just paranoid about how my eyeliner looks in certain lighting and stuff. i actually put on makeup inside and outside and see if i can tell the difference. i hold a mirror up and see how i look directly in the sun, or the shade, or with my back turned to the sun. i dont know if im like OCD or what but its bugging the shit out of me and dont know why i do it.
sorry its long.
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You aren't that unusual for being concerned about your looks. I always felt silly having someone catch me look in the mirror, but as I'm trying to ignore the mirrors, I look over and see everyone around me looking at the mirrors instead! Even if there's a store window or shiny car, I always see someone stop and fix their hair or something.
There's also a more technical side of this. You say there was a time you didn't care so much, you were younger, right? I'm guessing you are a teenager now. There are actually certain psychological factors that happen during these teen years. They call one of these factors an "invisable audience" in your head. This isn't going to last your whole lifetime, but it will remain for a few years. Forming an "invisible audience" means that you (and everyone else your age) feels like everyone is watching them. They feel like people will notice if the smallest detail is wrong, when in reality, nobody would probably tell the differance. You can google:
"imaginary audience" psychology
You should be able to find out more about it if you are interested.
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Q: the first time i tried putting a tampon in it went right it and i couldnt feel it the next time i tried i couldnt get it and it hurt really bad so i went back to pads and its been like a couple months but today i have a swim party to go to and i tried putting a tampon in and i can gett all of it in except like a centimeter and it hurt because i get it all in and when i peed it started expandind on the outside and it just kinda pushed itself out i dont undertand how to get it in all the way
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Push almost the whole plastic applicator up with only enough sticking out for you to hold on to. Then, when you push it through, you can pull out the applicator. But if you push the tampon through the applicator before getting most of the base through, it could be difficult. I hope that's not too confusing! Basically, just make sure the applicator is barely sticking out before you pull it out and the tampon inside will stay up there.
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Q: i am always very outgoing, funny, charming, etc, etc. but that is only when i am talking to someone on aim, through myspace. in real life i always feel akward. like if i'm walking towards a big group of people or something, i suddenly start thinking about my arms, and how it looks with them just swinging there, or what if they look stiff or something, so i emmediatly start tucking my hair behind my ear, or rubbing my nose, scratching my elbow, looking over my shoulder, etc. I HATE IT!!!!! i look like a complete dork like that. i am only like that around people i dont know, or around a big group of people. with my friends i never even think about those things. oh, and i dont think about it around really shy people, and people that are also akward. so basicly my question is, how do i prevent this, and if you had this, how did you deal with it?? any feedback would be really appreciated. &hearts
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For most of my gradeschool years that was me most of the time. Now that I'm older, it isn't really a part of me anymore. So you probably won't always have to worry about it. But there are ways to at least look more comfortable until you can feel that way inside.
First of all, you need the mindset of feeling good. If you take a few more minutes to do your hair nice or wear your favorite outfit, or something simple like that, you'll have a boost of confidence. You will know you look good. It will make you excited to go out and show yourself off.
Sometimes, if you're in a really nervous situation, you might get shakey hands. If this happens, you have to learn to find which muscles in your hands are the shakey ones (they're usually the muscles you use to completely extend your fingers out). Nobody notices if you don't happen to completely extend your fingers straight, so it's not an awkward change to make.
Anyway, some people are intimidating because you can sense that they are measuring you up. People who even care to think about judging someone who just walked up are probably just too concerned with looking cool in the first place. You know that they are probably putting themselves through their own harsh judgements inside as well. Otherwise, they would just want to have fun and be friendly.
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Q: I was just wondering...how can you tell if your attracted to someone of the same sex? Like...if i look at a girl, somtimes i'll think, "oh, she's pretty" and if i look at a guy i'll think "oh he's cute." (by the way, i'm a girl) But, anyway, like, somtimes i feel attracted to guys, and i really want to get to know them, but then again, somtimes i look at some of my friends who are girls, and i just kinda..you know, wonder....heh, that sounds weird. But yeah, so i was wondering, how do you tell if your bi or gay or stuff like that.
By the way, i'm christian, so my religon is totally against things like that....so thats why i havn't talked to anyone, and i cant...
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Well, first of all, would you be ok if you did end up being gay or bi? If your religion makes you afraid of being into the same sex, then it could be hard to admit to yourself if you were into women.
Most people seem to not completely understand what qualifies as being labeled gay, straight, or bi. It's simple, yet denial often confuses many people...
The definition of a heterosexual is someone who is sexually attracted to the opposite sex only. The definition of a homosexual is someone who is sexually attracted to the same sex only. The definition of a bisexual is someone who is sexually attracted to both sexes.
Being sexually attracted to someone would mean that you would want to be physically intimate with them. So, you must ask yourself, what sexes are you attracted to? If it turns out that you are not straight, be ready to accept it. Many people need a lot of time to realise that they fall into this category. But it is not a bad thing. Any sexual preferance you have is ok. Your religion may or may not agree with it, but you can not feel guilty about something you can't control. You can't "make" someone gay and you can't "make" someone straight. And remember this quote: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
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Q: hi, i have a cockatiel and was wandering what that cockatiel training cd on the market is all about. it says it teaches your bird to whistle tunes and talk, but costs $25 or so. does anyone know what it has in it, like are people talking or birds, because instead of buying 1 i was thinking of just making one by myself. thanx in advance
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You should definately make one yourself! I have a cockatiel and that's actually exactly what I did! I whistled things I wanted him to learn and played it for him when we left the house! He is a very smart bird and has learned a few short tunes.
All it took was recording the sayings on my computer, burning the cd, and putting it in the cd player on repeat! It's very simple and this way you can have your bird hear your voice even while you're gone! :)
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Q: My friend (20 F) called me in tears this morning. She was at a bar last night, and, in a state of extreme intoxication, went home with a near-stranger. I (18 F) tried to console her as best I could, and recommended that she go to a walk-in clinic to be tested for STDs. What else can I do to help her out? She feels really guilty, I don't know what to do.
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You're right to suggest her to get tested. In such a negative situation, she should try her best to learn from this and understand the consequences of her actions if she wants to improve things for heself. When you drink, the first thing that goes is your ability to reason. She should watch the alcohol for a while. However, you have to remember that you can only be there to support her and she has to be the one to want to change. If she resists your help, you can not do anything for her. This problem is her own and you have to try to not feel so responsible for her since you are not in control. Just be a friend and encourage her to learn from her mistakes.
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Gender: Female Member Since: August 27, 2006 Answers: 17 Last Update: April 18, 2007 Visitors: 3496
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