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Me and her... her and her girl


Question Posted Monday October 9 2006, 8:49 am

OK... theres this girl at work that im REALLY into, and i know shes feelin me too. Shes currently with her girlfriend of about almost 2 years now, but their relationship has been on the rocks for awhile now. Before, i was giving her advice, and just trying to be there for her.. but things happened from there, and now i cant get her off my mind. The thing is.. we hooked up a few times, and yes... she is still with her girlfriend. She tells me that she doesnt know if she WANTS to be with her girlfriend, but she really does still love her. She tells me that she still wants me in her life, and i do want to be there... I know she has feelings for me... but shes just in a hard spot.
Now that her girlfriend is doing better, and her relationship "seems" to be doing ok... should i just find a way to drop my feelings for her and let her work on her relationship? Or should I keep things the way they are, and continue to be there for her?
I do want to be with her... but i want her to be happy..with me.. or with her girlfriend. I want to be here for her, to let it be known that im going to be here for her, but the way things are.. im the other woman.. and i dont like this feeling. should i back off?


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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?


becstasy answered Wednesday April 18 2007, 7:14 pm:
First off... it's gross that she goes home to her girlfriend covered in your sperm. Sperm stays alive for days in a woman's body. Sorry, but it's true. Aside from that, you are being used, dude. And it seems like she's more interested in her girlfriend or she would have left her for you especially since it's easy to be public "straight" then publicly "gay" even though I'm sure this girl is either bi or just a confused lesbian. But I can tell you this... she'll always be wanting a woman. You will never be able to completely satisfy her. If you did, she wouldn't need anyone else.

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Lost_3v3rytim3 answered Thursday April 12 2007, 1:05 am:
You should tell her how you feel, keeping it on hold will not be good for you. she seems confused and doesnt want to hurt anyone. Take your time and let her have some space between you and her. but when your ready and the time is right tell her how you feel.

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BitsandPieces answered Monday October 9 2006, 5:02 pm:
It sounds like you care deeply for her and have been pretty patient. I would hate to see you getting hurt or settling for being second in line. You need to start thinking about what would make you happy first. The girl you like is clearly in the position she is in because she is in control of having her cake and eating it, too. She may be a sweetheart, but it is selfish to keep her long time lover in the dark while she seeks closeness and pleasure elsewhere. Even if you have been a willing participant, she is using you, too. I would set some boundaries at least until you are confident that she has ended it with her girlfriend. You may be able to handle being just friends, but it could turn into an emotional rollercoaster ride, too. Just guard your heart.

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FREEZEPOP answered Monday October 9 2006, 4:23 pm:
ooookay, in my opinion, if you have hooked up with this girl before while she had a girlfriend, think, how would YOU feel if your girlfriend hooked up with someone while you were still dating them? eh eh not good. :/ i mean, i think you most deffinently should be there for her, but maybe just let her work things out with her girl, you know? and if those two end, then you should go for her, if you still have those feelings for her. :) good luck.

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karenR answered Monday October 9 2006, 3:25 pm:
I think your friend is confused at the moment. Most likely she will stay with her girlfriend of 2 years.
She still admits she has feelings for her and 2 years is a long time. They share a lot of history.

All relationships have their ups and downs. You just happened upon this one in a down moment. I think the best thing you can do right now is to back off and let them see if they can salvage their relationship.

It will be hard for you to do but it will only be worse if you continue for a while and THEN she decides to stay. You will also have the peace of mind that comes with knowing its YOU she really wants should she decide that way.

Being the "other woman" in a relationship is the worse thing to be. You always have to wait for leftovers and being 2nd place in a love relationship is awful. Back off for now and see if you can't find someone who puts you first. :)

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dreamysmama477 answered Monday October 9 2006, 3:08 pm:
are you a lezbiean?

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