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How Can I Help?
My friend (20 F) called me in tears this morning. She was at a bar last night, and, in a state of extreme intoxication, went home with a near-stranger. I (18 F) tried to console her as best I could, and recommended that she go to a walk-in clinic to be tested for STDs. What else can I do to help her out? She feels really guilty, I don't know what to do.
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You're right to suggest her to get tested. In such a negative situation, she should try her best to learn from this and understand the consequences of her actions if she wants to improve things for heself. When you drink, the first thing that goes is your ability to reason. She should watch the alcohol for a while. However, you have to remember that you can only be there to support her and she has to be the one to want to change. If she resists your help, you can not do anything for her. This problem is her own and you have to try to not feel so responsible for her since you are not in control. Just be a friend and encourage her to learn from her mistakes.
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Play it down or make a joke out of it. Everyone makes mistakes like this, and the best thing to do is learn from them, tell her that. She's not the first nor will she be the last person to do it. What's important is that she's learned from it.
The next time she goes out drinking tell her to talk to her friends before she starts drinking. Whether she asks them to cut her off, or make sure she doesn't go off with a stranger again.
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That's all you can do really. Go with her to get tested if she needs/wants you to. Tell her to set a drink limit for herself and never go over it. And never go drinking alone; always have a friend with her. Let her know that she can call you if she ever needs a ride or anything. Everyone makes mistakes and we can only learn from them. What happened happened and no one can change it, we can only keep it from happening again.
Just curious, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the legal drinking age 21? Did the bar not check her ID?
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