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okay well i have a friend who is 16 and pregnant (about 7 weeks if that matters at all)
well she just started coming to my school at the beggining of this year and i would say im one of the people in the school who is closest to her.
ive havent accually met her bf but ive talked to him online a few times and hes really worried about her and wants be to help her but i dont know how. they have been together for 3 years and i would say they really are too layed back. they have unprotected sex alot and have gotten high and drunk on several occasions and atleast once since shes been preggo (her dad has drug problems as well) and they dont have the greatest background so i really dont expect much from them. but i dont know how to get her to chance her ways! her bf has tried but i guess she wont listen. she doesnt eat well and do what she could to help her baby out..
and she doesnt even have a job or plan on getting one b/c her mom is paying for anything but i think she still needs some resposiblity and so does her her bf (who realizes this atleast)
what can i do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
if i was u,u just need to tell her that a child can not be raised in this atmosphere. and make it known that if she cant support her child then things could get bad not only for her but the baby. let her know that drinking and smoking can kill the baby or do long term damage and make her situation worse then what it is. i know u wanna be a good friend and support her and u can but by not keeping it real with her is also hurting u.
i hope i helped
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You have a right to be concerned because what she is doing now will affect the innocent baby. If it was just her involved, I'd say do nothing. Sounds like she needs some prenatal counseling. If you have a school nurse discuss these things with her otherwise call a local OB-Gyn office and ask if they can mail you some brochures on staying healthy during pregnancy. As far as the responsibility after the birth, if her Mom is involved that's a plus and their family will need to work that part out.
Added after feedback: I realize you want to help, and since the unborn baby is involved I didn't disagree with you. You can't change people no matter how hard you try, but you can provide the appropiate education to the pregnant girl. Which may prompt her to change herself. Good luck!
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talk to her and let her knoe how ya feel about her situation and how much you care...dont go down on her about the things she's doin wrong, because thats only gonna make things worse. Dont tell her wat to do because its her life and she has to make her own choices. Explain to her some facts about wut the future may be for her and her baby if she keeps actin the way she does..Let her understand da consequenses and everything...She can change her way on her own but she needs somebody who can help her thur it all.. so be a good friend even when she probly dont agree wit cha
NEED ANY MORE ADVICE? VISIT MY COLUMN..THANK YA
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How old is her boyfriend? Is he working?
Ideal solution would be for him to take her clear out of the situation where he can care for her and the baby himself.
They both need to get it through their heads that drugs and alcohol while pregnant can lead to birth defects. That is not good. Try to appeal to her feelings about the baby (which hopefully are good).
Unprotected sex at this point in time doesn't matter. Shes already pregnant. Unless they are seeing others as well, of course.
Chances are, if she isn't listening to her boyfriend you don't have much of a chance of getting through to her either...but try. If attempts fail at least you know you did your best.
Good luck. :)
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