Hi Everyone!!
My name is Brenda, and I'm 34 years young. I've been happily married (to the most amazing man) for three years, and we have three children. My daughter is nine years old (my husband has adopted her), my stepdaughter is eight, and my stepson is six. I am currently a full time college student taking Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management. I am also a volunteer with the Sexual Assault Victim Support Program with our Regional Health Authority.
My hope with this advice column is that I will be able to help people. I've been through alot in my life, and I decided that if I can help people in similar situations, then that could also help me heal, and move on. I won't go into great detail on here, but my motto has definitely become "what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger".
I was raped when I was 16, and then continually by an abusive boyfriend when I was 19-20. He was an alcoholic and abusive sexually, physically, and emotionally. He unsuccessfully (thank God) tried to kill me.
I've been cheated on...been the cheater, I've gone through addiction, as well as losing my dad. I have clinical depression. I was a single mom for five years before I met my husband. I became extremely obese, and five years ago weighed close to 400 pounds. In January of 2000 I underwent gastric bypass surgery and have maintained a 200+ pound weight loss. I went through my childhood and adolescense being ridiculed for my appearance. I really want to help people with obesity issues.
Currently, my most stressing issues seem to be dealing with my husbands despicable ex-wife. It's hard to deal with someone whom you have absolutely no respect for as a parent, or as a person for that matter. I have many concerns about making a blended family work, so that everyone is happy.
PHEW!!!
Well....I hope I will have many visitors to my column and can help each and every one of you! Chances are..whatever it is you're going through, I've probably been there. I hope to talk to you soon.
Brenda
Website: Help Me, Brenda!
E-mail: helpmebrenda@inbox.com
Gender: Female
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Occupation: student
Age: 34
Member Since: April 9, 2006
Answers: 193
Last Update: October 5, 2006
Visitors: 22505
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ok so a few years ago my dad used to do cocaine i did not know this until a little over a year ago although now looking back i see the signs like we lost our house his job everything and he was very moody and other stuff.the way i found out was not good my mom was in a fight with me and she was all like you think your dads a saint well hes not he did cocaine she was yelling so i started to cry and say you are lyeing but i knew it was true.i asked my dad he said it was true and he doesnt do it anymore i believe him now i live with him and everything is good we NEVER talk about it but now i am worried because he didnt tell his gf who now lives with us and i think that is wrong but i dont want to ask him the only reason i know he didnt is cuase my sis asked him.my dad gets realy ashamed if it is mentioned so ya but i am also worried because he is acting strange and we just moved back to where his dealer is and i know he is stressedso he may be thinking about it
wat do i do?
~nikki~ (link)
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Hi
Drug addiction is so nasty....it literally takes over your life. It's wonderful that your dad was able to rehabilitate himself.
I think that you should tell your dad that you are worried about him, and you'd like to talk. If he knows that you're worried he may be able to ease your fears. He could be under stress for many things, and hopefully he's not considering using again.
I don't think it's your place to inform your dad's girlfriend about his addiction, but I do think you could tell your dad that you feel she has a right to know. He's probably embarrased, and is scared that if she knows she may leave him. If she does then that's not the person for him...but again, this is for him to decide.
Keeping an addiction under control is up to your dad (or any user), but having supportive family to help you through it can be key.
Just be there for him. Open communication is paramount in ANY relationship.
Take care, and good luck.
Brenda
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Rating: 5
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I CANT TALK TO HIM i never have before except the one time no joke so how do i handle that
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