About lucretia
I have been on this site a little while now, and while I have never been one of its more prolific columnists, I do read a helluva lot more questions than I answer. The reason for this is that I feel that a lot of the questions are very similar, so I tend to pick the better worded and/or more interesting ones among them:plus I without fail will answer anything you care to drop in my inbox. But for those of you whose questions I do not specifically address, here are my top five tips to make the world(and advicenators, which is after all the hub of the universe) a better place:
Enjoy!
1)You will generally be happier if you are not
constantly taking your emotional temperature. So much stress is placed these days on FEELING, that people forget that the way to FEEL happy is to DO. So get over yourself and take up skateboarding, drumming(which I highly recommend) "mumblety-peg, if that's where your heart lies". Whatever it is though, just get on with it and you'll be allright.
2) If s/he says "you're too good for me", then s/he isn't interested. End of story.
3)Honour thy father and thy mother, unless they're actually beating the crap out of you, in which case you need to call on outside agents to mediate.In all other cases though, take it easy on your folks-you won't regret it later in life.
4)In 90% of cases, cheating is unaccepatable and inexcusable. If you think that your partner is part of the 10% (or whatever random minority)of excusable cheaters, then ask yourself why. Is it because you're such hell to live with that it's a miracle that anyone would date you, let alone stay faithful? If it is , then you have one of two problems; you either have a personality disorder which makes you undateable, or you have such low self esteem that you believe yourself undateable. In either case, you need help, so go to a counselor, therapist, doctor, whatever, just sort it out.
5) Read self-help books. Just take them with a pinch of salt. Seriously, they make great reading, and can give remarkably sound advice, but you must not believe every word they say, or you will very possibly end up resembling , if not actually becoming , a speed freaked zombie wearing day-glo juicy couture. By self help books, I mean any thing which gives you x number of rules to live by, and suggests that the key to fulfillment lies within these rule(a bit like I'm doing now-book my '07 convention early to avoid disappointment.10% discount for advicenators columnists).Books to approach with caution include "The Rules" and the "Surrendered" series by Laura Doyle. But the jewel in the self help crown has to be the beautiful "The Bitch Rules" by Elizabeth Wurtzel. If you can read this book and not smile, laugh, and just feel unfettered joy at living, you are either the aforementioned zombie, or you are living in some banana republic. In either case, you are beyond my help,but I feel you.
Take care!
Lucretia
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Website: My LiveJournal
E-mail: lucrece_13@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Student
Age: 22
Member Since: September 9, 2005
Answers: 155
Last Update: August 29, 2006
Visitors: 18301
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I've been dating a man and woman, I dont want the woman anymore, I have been honest and she won't leave me alone, im all she has, she has no mom or any family, she is so annoying what to do to get her out of my life. She says I owe her and she will kill herself if i leave. She makes me feel guilty but i started a family with my man and want to live right and drama free for my children. Please help!
Oooh, how deliciously Jerry Springer! This is the juiciest question we've had on site for a while. To be honest, I don't think there's anything to choose between you and your ex-girlfriend:you both sound equally selfish, manipulative and drama loving.Honestly,a household like the one you have just described is no place to bring up children. But since this site is about advice, not recrimination, I'll cut to the chase, and tell you to cut her loose. Serioulsy, it's your duty. You have a duty of care and responsibilty to your husband(although he sounds like an idiot to have tolerated your behaviour for so long) and more importantly to your children. Ignore your ex's suicidal talk-empty threat. Or if not, then still not your responsibility.Of the two of you , your life is the more valuable, not, I hasten to add, on account of your personality, but on account of your circumstances and responsibilities. She has a job, let her find a life. Be brutal if need be-it's the greatest kindness, long term. Stringing her along would be false kindness-so far, you have shown no appreciation of the nature of true love or kindness. You will never learn, if you do not cut her loose. You sound like a true drama addict-manipulative, sly and shallow. Grow up already! And let her grow up too.
Good luck.
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(Rating: 4)
I appreciate the brutal honesty. I wish I could tell you the story from beginning to end so you will see I'm not as bad as it sound but you are right I was selfish and shallow. Thank you sooooo much.
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