I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
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I have a phobia of food poisoning and throwing up. I've already decided that the next time I throw up or ever get food poisoning, I will kill myself, and if that doesn't work out, I'll be anorexic to prevent food poisoning.
I already have a therapist, but she doesn't help with my phobia's. I've asked my mom to get me one that specializes in phobia's, but she chose this one to helpme with my depression (which I am over) and she won't get me a new one.
It's either give me a way to never throw up or get food poisoning, or I'll end up in a bad situation. (link)
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Wow, can I ever relate to you!
I have a severe phobia of being sick (by the way, it's called Emetophobia) and I developed it after a bad stomach bug in September 1997. Like you, after that I always said that if I thought I was going to be sick. I would kill myself and up until 2003, I have always believed that.
After recovering, I started to get scared of going through it again and, without actually realising it too much at the time, stopped eating because I was so scared that if I ate, I would be sick. In August 1998, aged 13, I was admitted to hospital with anorexia. I was under 6 stone and was force-fed for 8 days until I was putting on 2lbs a day, when they agreed to release me on a high sugar and fats diet until I was at my 'correct' weight.
Let me tell you something, that experience of being in hospital and being force fed was AWFUL. My stomach shrank and I was made to eat until I truly thought I was going to be sick and I was hysterical most nights I was there, with the fear of it all. Ironically, I remember threatening a Nurse that I would throw up on her if she made me eat!
Then, in March 2003, I had the exact problem you are terrified of. I contracted food poisoning from some ice cream at a restaurant that had melted and been re-frozen. I had crippling stomach ache and was very nearly sick 3 times. I made my Gran take me to the hospital and got an injection to prevent me from being sick. I have never been so hysterical in my whole life.
Here's the thing......I still eat ice cream. I know that sounds stupid. I'm so phobic it's untrue and to this day, I can't have ANYTHING to do with any music, films, books or anything else from 1997. But I realised you CAN prevent food poisoning as long as you are careful with high risk foods. You can be careful without going over the top, it's just learning to control your fear and suppress some of it.
For example, if you buy ice cream, get it into the freezer as fast as possible. Don't eat areas that have lots of bits of ice and a crunchy texture. Don't eat ice cream from unknown sources like ice cream trucks. You CAN eat eggs past their sell by date but I won't eat them if they are more than a week past and I always overcook them slightly, to be on the safe side. I've been vegetarian for 13 years, so I don't have to worry about meat but you need to be aware of the dangers of undercooking. Always make sure chicken is white on the inside or when roasting, ensure the liquid runs clear before eating. Make sure sausages are thoroughly cooked and NEVER put raw meats uncovered and at the top of the fridge. Also remember that as long as you cook everything thoroughly and it isn't meat being reheated after cooling, you should NEVER have a problem.
Simple things like this will prevent you from food poisoning but don't require you to stop eating.
Please also remember there are foods that you can't get poisoned from (or at least are difficult). Potato products are normally okay, as are chocolates, biscuits, fruit, vegetables, crisps and so on.
I don't want you to go through what I went through. This really is an awful phobia and people often don't realise the burden you carry with you every day but there are things you can do to make it easier to bear so please don't give up eating altogether. Don't let it destroy you the way it almost destroyed me.
If you need to talk about it at all, please feel free to send me a message. It might be nice to have another phobic to talk to!
***********EDIT*************
Just to let you know, someone before me mentioned that your problem indicates a mental deficiency. I just wanted to let you know that this ISN'T the case. A phobia of sickness is the same as any other phobia out there and like any true phobia, the sufferer would do almost anything to get away from the thing they are afraid of. The best I can liken it to is an arachnaphobic being told they WILL be covered head to toe in spiders at some point, while locked in a room and there's nothing they can do about it. You're a walking time bomb and it terrifies you and you will want to do anything to escape it. It's the way it is. The fight or flight reflex, so to speak. Don't worry. You aren't abnormal. You just suffer with a slightly less common phobia.
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Rating: 5
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If I could rate you higher than a five I would have. Thanks so much. :]
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