I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
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Okay, I dont need help coping,
I just need to know if I'm alright.
I mean my grandma died when i was in 5th grade,
I'm going into 10th now, and I was closer to her,
more close than the usual grandchild grandma bond.
I mean ever since I was born I came over to my grandparents house EVERDAY after school,
and I stayed there a lot. And I still cry over her, and how I miss her.
I mean when it happened, sure I was sad, and I understood she was gone, but today I understand more, and it just makes me wish she was here.
Especially since I'm volunteering at a nursing home, for some reason I get weird notions that my grandma is stuck somewhere in there, since she said she woudl hate to be there ever. And that I just cant find her, and shes miserable.
And this month, august, is the month she died,
on the twenty eigth actually, and it was a tuesday. and i cant take it, i don tknow what to do, and if i'm going to be okay? Is it usual to still beupst about things like this even if it happened a long time ago?
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You know, you remind me of my sister. We lost our beloved Nan when we were 15 and 6 years on, she still hasn't quite come to terms with it because, like you, she had a close bond with her.
I don't truly believe you ever get over the death of someone you were close to and eventually you just have to learn to cope with the day to day grief that you suffer.
However, if it has been 5 years since her death and you still feel this bad about it, then it might be a good idea to look into Bereavement Counselling. Often when we lose loved ones, it's difficult to accept their passing and this form of counselling can really help you learn to live with your grief.
The thing which is hard to accept but MUST be realised is that yes, your Grandma is gone, but you are still here and she wouldn't want for you to spend so much time grieving over her, especially when she has most likely gone to a much happier place. She would want to see the Grandaughter she cared so much about enjoying herself, making the most of the life she no longer has and loving every second of it. Life is precious and you should never forget to experience it, even if the people you love are no longer around. Easier said than done, yes but there is so much out there to see and do and taste and smell and your Grandma wouldn't want you to miss out on anything, I'm sure.
So maybe look into Bereavement Counselling and in the meantime, I think it might do you some good to write letters to her. You don't have to post them, you don't have to do anything with them. You can even throw them in the bin or burn them when you're done but it could help you if you write to her everything you want to say and everything you feel when things get too on top of you.
Please don't give up. It will get easier.
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Rating: 5
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Thanks so much for your your help :]
I already go to a counsular though
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