I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
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Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and at the beginning of the month, he broke up with me, and he said we needed a break. We were broken up for two weeks and then FINALLY we started to go back out. Now, yesterday, he told me that maybe our break wasn't long enough. He told me that we just needed to be friends for a least a month and that he loves me, but I'm not sure he does. How can he keep hurting me like this and still love me? A month is a long break, I just don't know what to do. But, Please help me out. (link)
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Did you know that the average length of time for a long-term relationship to last these days is 2 years? A lot of younger people especially in relationships find that at the end of their first two years together, they hit a 'rut' and a lot of relationships don't survive it.
Having been through this myself, I can assure you that yes, it is a very difficult time but you CAN work through it, as long as both people are willing to make the effort.
Judging from your boyfriend's actions, it seems he lacks the commitment required to cope with the rut, which is not great at all for you, because he keeps trying to make you wait for him while he gets his space.
Space isn't always a bad thing. Lots of couples take breaks and find they realise the strength of their feelings for each other as a result. However, my suspicion is that this is rare and in cases where a partner insists on taking repeated 'breaks' in a relationship, sadly, it suggests that they may not be happy in the relationship but are scared to finalise the end of it.
I'm SO sorry that your boyfriend has been acting this way towards you. After two years, it sounds as though you have grown to truly care about him a lot and now he keeps basically messing you around, with hopes of getting back together which he then dashes vefore they get truly realised. You need to put a stop to this, because it's pretty clear to me that this isn't the guy for you, however much he might feel like it.
Ask yourself this, even if he does care about you, why would he need to take a break in the first place? Better yet, ask him because I think you have a right to know. Whatever the answer, I think you need to stand up for yourself here because he's not finalising the end of your relationship. Instead, he just keeps you waiting for him while he goes off and does....what exactly? You need to get answers. Try and meet up with him and calmly talk about it. Ask him why it is that he feels he needs these 'breaks'. Either he wants to be with you or he doesn't and it's unreasonable of him to keep you waiting while he tries to make up his mind. I know you care about him but you need to tell him once and for all, if he doesn't want to be with you, then he needs to tell you and end it once and for all because if he does feel that way, you owe it to yourself to go back out there and find someone who will give you the love you deserve.
There is a guy for you out there who is sensitive and loving and caring and when you meet him, there will be no 'taking breaks' or 'temporary splits' because he won't NEED them. You sound like a really nice girl and I'm sure you won't have any trouble finding someone but please don't let a guy treat you this way because you should never waste your time with someone who can't make up his mind what he wants.
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