Hi Everyone!!
My name is Brenda, and I'm 34 years young. I've been happily married (to the most amazing man) for three years, and we have three children. My daughter is nine years old (my husband has adopted her), my stepdaughter is eight, and my stepson is six. I am currently a full time college student taking Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management. I am also a volunteer with the Sexual Assault Victim Support Program with our Regional Health Authority.
My hope with this advice column is that I will be able to help people. I've been through alot in my life, and I decided that if I can help people in similar situations, then that could also help me heal, and move on. I won't go into great detail on here, but my motto has definitely become "what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger".
I was raped when I was 16, and then continually by an abusive boyfriend when I was 19-20. He was an alcoholic and abusive sexually, physically, and emotionally. He unsuccessfully (thank God) tried to kill me.
I've been cheated on...been the cheater, I've gone through addiction, as well as losing my dad. I have clinical depression. I was a single mom for five years before I met my husband. I became extremely obese, and five years ago weighed close to 400 pounds. In January of 2000 I underwent gastric bypass surgery and have maintained a 200+ pound weight loss. I went through my childhood and adolescense being ridiculed for my appearance. I really want to help people with obesity issues.
Currently, my most stressing issues seem to be dealing with my husbands despicable ex-wife. It's hard to deal with someone whom you have absolutely no respect for as a parent, or as a person for that matter. I have many concerns about making a blended family work, so that everyone is happy.
PHEW!!!
Well....I hope I will have many visitors to my column and can help each and every one of you! Chances are..whatever it is you're going through, I've probably been there. I hope to talk to you soon.
Brenda
Website: Help Me, Brenda!
E-mail: helpmebrenda@inbox.com
Gender: Female
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Occupation: student
Age: 34
Member Since: April 9, 2006
Answers: 193
Last Update: October 5, 2006
Visitors: 22487
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Dear Brenda,
I'm a girl I'm 15 years old. There has been this girl that was in my youth group (which I hated) and who went to my school. (She graduated this year) and like EVERYDAY in the hall at school she would wave and say Hi it was SO annying.
Shes a senior, geez, i wish she would leave me alone, no one really likes her htough, but i see why, she annoys people.
But I think she wont leaveme alone because I dont want to go to youth groupp.
But now it summer, and shes called me 3 times now, asking me if I wanted to go for coffee, and my answers have been NO, even my mother told her no, and I'm so frustrated, will she ever stop? and why do you think shes obsessving over me?
I mean I'm going to be a sophmore, and shes going to be graduated doesnt she have anyone else she can annoy? I dont want to be her friend either btw. Not in a mean way, but blah. (link)
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Hi
In my opinion she REALLY wants to be your friend, which would be nice except for the fact that you don't want to be hers.
You've been good at telling her no to her invitations and phone calls, but maybe it's time to be a little more forceful.
You can do this without being mean...which is important, because aside from being an annoying pain in your ass, she's probably a nice person.
Don't accept her phone calls...and if you answer the phone when she calls, just tell her you're busy and you have to go...and then hang up. If she starts talking to you in school or wherever you may bump into her, just say "gotta run" and walk away.
Hopefully if you keep ending the conversation quickly she will eventually get the point, and if she doesn't you may have to say nicely that you are not interested in a friendship with her.
If you talk to her and take her phone calls, you are leading her into thinking you want to be her friend. Nip that in the bud.
Just remember that she too has feelings, and it's never a good idea to stomp on anyone. Be nice, forceful, and get your point across.
Take care, and good luck.
Brenda
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