Hi Everyone!!
My name is Brenda, and I'm 34 years young. I've been happily married (to the most amazing man) for three years, and we have three children. My daughter is nine years old (my husband has adopted her), my stepdaughter is eight, and my stepson is six. I am currently a full time college student taking Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management. I am also a volunteer with the Sexual Assault Victim Support Program with our Regional Health Authority.
My hope with this advice column is that I will be able to help people. I've been through alot in my life, and I decided that if I can help people in similar situations, then that could also help me heal, and move on. I won't go into great detail on here, but my motto has definitely become "what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger".
I was raped when I was 16, and then continually by an abusive boyfriend when I was 19-20. He was an alcoholic and abusive sexually, physically, and emotionally. He unsuccessfully (thank God) tried to kill me.
I've been cheated on...been the cheater, I've gone through addiction, as well as losing my dad. I have clinical depression. I was a single mom for five years before I met my husband. I became extremely obese, and five years ago weighed close to 400 pounds. In January of 2000 I underwent gastric bypass surgery and have maintained a 200+ pound weight loss. I went through my childhood and adolescense being ridiculed for my appearance. I really want to help people with obesity issues.
Currently, my most stressing issues seem to be dealing with my husbands despicable ex-wife. It's hard to deal with someone whom you have absolutely no respect for as a parent, or as a person for that matter. I have many concerns about making a blended family work, so that everyone is happy.
PHEW!!!
Well....I hope I will have many visitors to my column and can help each and every one of you! Chances are..whatever it is you're going through, I've probably been there. I hope to talk to you soon.
Brenda
Website: Help Me, Brenda!
E-mail: helpmebrenda@inbox.com
Gender: Female
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Occupation: student
Age: 34
Member Since: April 9, 2006
Answers: 193
Last Update: October 5, 2006
Visitors: 22498
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ok like a day ago i told you about this one guy, that i told i liked him, and all he said was "okay" and went offline. So i told one of my other friends that goes to his school and hangs out with him alot what he said... and he said i figured... i was like y? he was like because he always sais oookay whenever some tells him something weird. Now i feel like a complete idiot. i tried talking to him normaly after, and he was responding normally, but he never starts the conversation, and he only answers my questions, he never asks ma any. Everyone also sais he has a BIG crush on this other girl.. so basically he doesnt like me.. and now i feel like crap... any suggestions on what he mite think or things to make me get over him. (althoug i really dont want to get over him) (link)
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Hi
I'm sorry things didn't quite work out the way you wanted. Life is full of these little lessons. What seems to be major heartbreak will only make you stronger...trust me on that.
If you know he has a big crush on another girl, then what he is feeling right now is awkward. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings, but at the same time he doesn't want to lead you on.
Most guys will make an awkward situation worse, by acting wierd and ignoring the situation instead of talking about it, and then moving on.
Please don't feel like an idiot...you are far from an idiot. You took a chance, and unfortunately it didn't work out this time. Whatever you do, don't let this experience jade you from expressing yourself again. You just need to find the right guy.
As for getting over him...even though you don't want to, you need to. If you continue to brood over something that is not going to happen you will just wind up miserable. Time will help with healing a broken heart, it always does.
If you want, you could "break the ice" so to speak and bring up the situation yourself to him. You could put humour into it, to ease the tension. It may help put the situation behind you. Do it online if you're too nervous to do it face to face.
You may need to kiss many frogs, before you find your prince.....God knows I did!
Keep your chin up, keep being true to yourself, and your prince will come along before you know it.
Take care sweetie,
Brenda
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