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I've been friends with a married man for about 3 years and we have never crossed the line. I knew him and his wife before they moved last year. I thought of him as one of my closest friends- he was someone I could always talk to. Well yesterday we got into a big fight on MSN messenger. I told him that I missed him (because I harldy get to see him since he moved) and then he made a comment "I'm a married man". Then I said "I know- just friends". I was upset and told him I didnt think we should talk anymore. He wanted to know why. I told him that his comment " I'm a married man" made it sound like I wanted an affair with him. I assured him I was not like that. I said I would never cheat with a married man because it happend with my mom and dad. I also said I hoped we could still be friends. Well I thought he would have respected me for saying that but instead he coldly responded with "good bye". He gave me no explanation either. I thought this man was my friend- surely a true friend would understand. Now he has completely shut me out. He won't answer my phone calls and I sent two emails saying that he was the best friend I ever had and I hoped we could still be friends. He is not responding. This man has been an important friend in my life for the last 3 years- this just doesnt make sense. Why do think he's being this way? Do you think he really did want an affair with me and now is miffed that he knows he won't be getting any? (link)
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Well, I think any time you involve yourself in a more in-depth relationship with someone that is married, you are kind of always walking on eggshells--or at least be weary. Married individuals that develop close relationships or bonds iwth another (single) person of the opposite sex can possibly encourter a heap of emotions and thoughts regarding that person. I'm not that guy so it's hard to sya what went through his head. For all you know, his wife would have been sitting there the night he said to you "I am a married man" and that was his way of making sure he didn't piss off his wife. As far as your actions, I think you handled yourself very well. I think you have done your job and it's kind of like the ball is in your court. If you have already tried contacting him via email and phone--I wouldn't do any more if he's not being responsive to you. I know it may be tough, but this may be his way of distancing himself--and for all you know it could be just temporary. I know you are probably hurt but if you continue to contact him he will feel like there's more to it than a friendship you are in search of and it could also cause problems for his wife. Being a friend, you wouldn't want to cause a rift in the relationship I am sure. Just wait it out. He may come around..or he may not. In the mean time, go have some fun and get your mind off the drama. :)
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Rating: 5
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Thankyou so much- I'm glad that you think I'd handled it well because I was beginning to think that I did not do the right thing. I'm hoping he will cool down but in the mean time I'm going to take your advice- sit back; relax; and try to keep my mind off things.
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