Hi Everyone!!
My name is Brenda, and I'm 34 years young. I've been happily married (to the most amazing man) for three years, and we have three children. My daughter is nine years old (my husband has adopted her), my stepdaughter is eight, and my stepson is six. I am currently a full time college student taking Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management. I am also a volunteer with the Sexual Assault Victim Support Program with our Regional Health Authority.
My hope with this advice column is that I will be able to help people. I've been through alot in my life, and I decided that if I can help people in similar situations, then that could also help me heal, and move on. I won't go into great detail on here, but my motto has definitely become "what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger".
I was raped when I was 16, and then continually by an abusive boyfriend when I was 19-20. He was an alcoholic and abusive sexually, physically, and emotionally. He unsuccessfully (thank God) tried to kill me.
I've been cheated on...been the cheater, I've gone through addiction, as well as losing my dad. I have clinical depression. I was a single mom for five years before I met my husband. I became extremely obese, and five years ago weighed close to 400 pounds. In January of 2000 I underwent gastric bypass surgery and have maintained a 200+ pound weight loss. I went through my childhood and adolescense being ridiculed for my appearance. I really want to help people with obesity issues.
Currently, my most stressing issues seem to be dealing with my husbands despicable ex-wife. It's hard to deal with someone whom you have absolutely no respect for as a parent, or as a person for that matter. I have many concerns about making a blended family work, so that everyone is happy.
PHEW!!!
Well....I hope I will have many visitors to my column and can help each and every one of you! Chances are..whatever it is you're going through, I've probably been there. I hope to talk to you soon.
Brenda
Website: Help Me, Brenda!
E-mail: helpmebrenda@inbox.com
Gender: Female
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Occupation: student
Age: 34
Member Since: April 9, 2006
Answers: 193
Last Update: October 5, 2006
Visitors: 22491
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guys you gotta help me here!
My brother had always been a very popular, very colourful, very fun outspoken person..
But yesterday, he came home..and went straight to bed (if you knew my brother you'd know there's definitely something wrong!) So I went in to his room, and he was asleep, and you could see that his pillow was wet from crying. But i decided he needed to go through it on his own. It would go over. But today he came home and did the same exact thing, so I went in to his room, and asked him about it (and he know's he can trust me, we usually tell eachother everything!) (by the way, I'm 15/f he's 13/m) and he just said "nothing, I'm tired" bt I wouldn't let go, and kept asking, telling him whatever it is, I'm here for him, I love him, he can trust me..and so on, and he just started crying, but wouldn't tell me, so I stayed for an hour in his room, next to him, and he wouldn't stop crying! He just started crying more and more, until he lost his breath. I'M SO WORRIED!! We both jst ended up sitting there crying..and I don't klnow what it could be, he usually tells me about his friend-problems, gf-problems, and I already know about all the family problems (trust me, our family is the family from HELL) but idk, what could it be? Why do you think he suddenly won't tell me what's going on with his life? What can I do to help him? Or to get him to open up?
Please help me, thank you! (link)
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Hi
Wow....what a great sister you are!!! It's so nice that you and your brother are close, especially since your family life is so difficult.
You can't force him to tell you what's going on, but I'd wager a bet that in time he will open up.
He knows you are there for him, and that you want to help, and that is so important.
Maybe he's embarrased to tell you, or scared you won't understand. Maybe it's something so private that he just can't talk about it at this point.
Just keep being the great big sister that you are, and he will confide in you eventually.
Take care,
Brenda
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Rating: 5
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thank you so much! ♥ it means alot that you'd say such nice things about me!! thank you :o)
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