Hi Everyone!!
My name is Brenda, and I'm 34 years young. I've been happily married (to the most amazing man) for three years, and we have three children. My daughter is nine years old (my husband has adopted her), my stepdaughter is eight, and my stepson is six. I am currently a full time college student taking Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management. I am also a volunteer with the Sexual Assault Victim Support Program with our Regional Health Authority.
My hope with this advice column is that I will be able to help people. I've been through alot in my life, and I decided that if I can help people in similar situations, then that could also help me heal, and move on. I won't go into great detail on here, but my motto has definitely become "what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger".
I was raped when I was 16, and then continually by an abusive boyfriend when I was 19-20. He was an alcoholic and abusive sexually, physically, and emotionally. He unsuccessfully (thank God) tried to kill me.
I've been cheated on...been the cheater, I've gone through addiction, as well as losing my dad. I have clinical depression. I was a single mom for five years before I met my husband. I became extremely obese, and five years ago weighed close to 400 pounds. In January of 2000 I underwent gastric bypass surgery and have maintained a 200+ pound weight loss. I went through my childhood and adolescense being ridiculed for my appearance. I really want to help people with obesity issues.
Currently, my most stressing issues seem to be dealing with my husbands despicable ex-wife. It's hard to deal with someone whom you have absolutely no respect for as a parent, or as a person for that matter. I have many concerns about making a blended family work, so that everyone is happy.
PHEW!!!
Well....I hope I will have many visitors to my column and can help each and every one of you! Chances are..whatever it is you're going through, I've probably been there. I hope to talk to you soon.
Brenda
Website: Help Me, Brenda!
E-mail: helpmebrenda@inbox.com
Gender: Female
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Occupation: student
Age: 34
Member Since: April 9, 2006
Answers: 193
Last Update: October 5, 2006
Visitors: 22477
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well i have a bset friend and we have so many things to laugh about and everything! i'm the only person who thinks she's funny cause the others just think she's hyper and silly but i like her =) so yeah she's in 5th grade i'm in 7th grade and i also dont mind about that =) so yeah we only see eachother in the bus and we used to say hello in school (i'm going to a school where they teach 1-12 grade in one building) and she always saved me a seet in the bus ans she still does..ok now i'll get to the point.. lately she starts hanging around with this girl in 3th grade and only talkes to her on the bus and she saves me a seet but julie (thats the girl) can sit right next to her and then they talk and everything and julie never laughs at her jokes so i really dont get it! and now we this really sucks! and i dont wanna loose her cause she the only friend i have in this school....please help! (link)
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Hi
Just keep showing her that you are there for her, and still want to be her friend.
It's totally natural for people to seek out friends, and it's ok to have more than one friend. Just because she's friends with Julie, doesn't mean she can't still be friends with you too.
Right now Julie is the "new" friend, and maybe your friend is just caught up in the new friendship.
Give her a bit of time, and she will come around and realize that you are the friend that is there for her, and you are the one that she can act like herself around, and you accept her for her.
Take care, and it would be nice if everyone had a friend like you!
Brenda
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