About lucretia
I have been on this site a little while now, and while I have never been one of its more prolific columnists, I do read a helluva lot more questions than I answer. The reason for this is that I feel that a lot of the questions are very similar, so I tend to pick the better worded and/or more interesting ones among them:plus I without fail will answer anything you care to drop in my inbox. But for those of you whose questions I do not specifically address, here are my top five tips to make the world(and advicenators, which is after all the hub of the universe) a better place:
Enjoy!
1)You will generally be happier if you are not
constantly taking your emotional temperature. So much stress is placed these days on FEELING, that people forget that the way to FEEL happy is to DO. So get over yourself and take up skateboarding, drumming(which I highly recommend) "mumblety-peg, if that's where your heart lies". Whatever it is though, just get on with it and you'll be allright.
2) If s/he says "you're too good for me", then s/he isn't interested. End of story.
3)Honour thy father and thy mother, unless they're actually beating the crap out of you, in which case you need to call on outside agents to mediate.In all other cases though, take it easy on your folks-you won't regret it later in life.
4)In 90% of cases, cheating is unaccepatable and inexcusable. If you think that your partner is part of the 10% (or whatever random minority)of excusable cheaters, then ask yourself why. Is it because you're such hell to live with that it's a miracle that anyone would date you, let alone stay faithful? If it is , then you have one of two problems; you either have a personality disorder which makes you undateable, or you have such low self esteem that you believe yourself undateable. In either case, you need help, so go to a counselor, therapist, doctor, whatever, just sort it out.
5) Read self-help books. Just take them with a pinch of salt. Seriously, they make great reading, and can give remarkably sound advice, but you must not believe every word they say, or you will very possibly end up resembling , if not actually becoming , a speed freaked zombie wearing day-glo juicy couture. By self help books, I mean any thing which gives you x number of rules to live by, and suggests that the key to fulfillment lies within these rule(a bit like I'm doing now-book my '07 convention early to avoid disappointment.10% discount for advicenators columnists).Books to approach with caution include "The Rules" and the "Surrendered" series by Laura Doyle. But the jewel in the self help crown has to be the beautiful "The Bitch Rules" by Elizabeth Wurtzel. If you can read this book and not smile, laugh, and just feel unfettered joy at living, you are either the aforementioned zombie, or you are living in some banana republic. In either case, you are beyond my help,but I feel you.
Take care!
Lucretia
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Website: My LiveJournal
E-mail: lucrece_13@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Student
Age: 22
Member Since: September 9, 2005
Answers: 155
Last Update: August 29, 2006
Visitors: 18303
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One night last week I was talking to a friend (that is a guy) and I had liked him for some time. We were talking and I told him I had a boyfriend. He got really angry and was like "I cant talk to you if you have a boyfriend" He told me that he liked me and I told him that I had liked him for a long time. He said that if he had known he would have asked me out along time ago.
I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend 1) because he cheated on me and 2) because I liked the kid i talked about above^^
Now my guy friend never really talks to me. I feel like he probly doesnt like me anymore and im really pissed off because I could see myself being with him for a long time. last night when I was talking to him he said "why would you wana talk to me anyways you have a boyfriend" and I told him that I broke up with him. and he goes "ouh well im out bye"
What should I do? I really like him. Maybe Im not ready for another relationship but I like him alot and I have for a while. Do you think he doesnt like me anymore? HELP!
15/f by the way
sorry it was so long
Your friend probably feels insecure in your feelings for him. I have to say that his behaviour is a little immature-but that's fifteen year old boys for you. He doesn't sound like a jerk, unlike your cheating ex(well done for splitting up with him BTW).
What you need to do now is speak to your friend again. It might be an idea to call him rather than IM him, even face to face would be good(if you go to the same school. I f not, you could always arrange to meet at the mall or somewhere on a weekend. Your plan should be to ask him out-perhaps on a "pre-date" you know, just hanging out together, not calling yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend . Get to know each other as more than friends. Just tell him everything you have told us, and it should be ok. If he's still stubborn and angry, then perhaps you need to give him time and space to mature. Boys in their mid-teens can be remarkably moody and self dramatising, more so than girls sometimes.Whatever happens, try not to lose him as a friend. Friendships are precious, at times almost more so than romantic relationships.
Good luck,
Lucretia.
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(Rating: 5)
thanks! i think ima do that. like hang out with him and tell him how i feel and everything
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