Hi Everyone!!
My name is Brenda, and I'm 34 years young. I've been happily married (to the most amazing man) for three years, and we have three children. My daughter is nine years old (my husband has adopted her), my stepdaughter is eight, and my stepson is six. I am currently a full time college student taking Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management. I am also a volunteer with the Sexual Assault Victim Support Program with our Regional Health Authority.
My hope with this advice column is that I will be able to help people. I've been through alot in my life, and I decided that if I can help people in similar situations, then that could also help me heal, and move on. I won't go into great detail on here, but my motto has definitely become "what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger".
I was raped when I was 16, and then continually by an abusive boyfriend when I was 19-20. He was an alcoholic and abusive sexually, physically, and emotionally. He unsuccessfully (thank God) tried to kill me.
I've been cheated on...been the cheater, I've gone through addiction, as well as losing my dad. I have clinical depression. I was a single mom for five years before I met my husband. I became extremely obese, and five years ago weighed close to 400 pounds. In January of 2000 I underwent gastric bypass surgery and have maintained a 200+ pound weight loss. I went through my childhood and adolescense being ridiculed for my appearance. I really want to help people with obesity issues.
Currently, my most stressing issues seem to be dealing with my husbands despicable ex-wife. It's hard to deal with someone whom you have absolutely no respect for as a parent, or as a person for that matter. I have many concerns about making a blended family work, so that everyone is happy.
PHEW!!!
Well....I hope I will have many visitors to my column and can help each and every one of you! Chances are..whatever it is you're going through, I've probably been there. I hope to talk to you soon.
Brenda
Website: Help Me, Brenda!
E-mail: helpmebrenda@inbox.com
Gender: Female
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Occupation: student
Age: 34
Member Since: April 9, 2006
Answers: 193
Last Update: October 5, 2006
Visitors: 22465
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I have been going with a really great guy for the last few months. He's 29, I'm 33. He was a virgin when we met, but no longer is. He's really great in bed, (he's come a long way), but I'm wondering what I can do to help him along a little bit more. He's open to trying new things, and when we do, it just doesn't work out, because he can't catch on for whatever reason. He tries very hard, but it's getting frustrating. I'm also trying to figure out how to make things more romantic. He doesn't understand how important foreplay is. We kiss for just a few minutes, and he thinks it is time to just go for it, then a half hour later, we're done, and that's it. How can I make him understand that romance and foreplay can be just as much fun? What kind of things can I do to make him realize it's just as much fun, if not better than just having straight sex. What kind of things can you suggest that are really romantic, and will keep him in the mood all night??
Thanks. (link)
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Hi
Unfortunately romance is something that some guys just don't have. However, I believe that to a certain degree they can learn.
If he's just experienced sex for the first time with you, then there's lots left to learn.
You could give him hints, but make sure they are not too subtle (men have trouble with those ;)
You could also try being the romancer to show him what it's like. One day when he comes home from work, have candles going, soft music, look like your hot sexy self, and romance him. Take your time...tie him up if you have too ;).
Show him what it feels like to experience foreplay, then he'll know that's something that you like. You need to show him the ropes, so he can learn from you, then take his turn and be romance initiator. Good luck.
Brenda
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Rating: 3
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This isn't really what I was looking for. I was hoping for some ideas.
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