Hi Everyone!!
My name is Brenda, and I'm 34 years young. I've been happily married (to the most amazing man) for three years, and we have three children. My daughter is nine years old (my husband has adopted her), my stepdaughter is eight, and my stepson is six. I am currently a full time college student taking Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management. I am also a volunteer with the Sexual Assault Victim Support Program with our Regional Health Authority.
My hope with this advice column is that I will be able to help people. I've been through alot in my life, and I decided that if I can help people in similar situations, then that could also help me heal, and move on. I won't go into great detail on here, but my motto has definitely become "what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger".
I was raped when I was 16, and then continually by an abusive boyfriend when I was 19-20. He was an alcoholic and abusive sexually, physically, and emotionally. He unsuccessfully (thank God) tried to kill me.
I've been cheated on...been the cheater, I've gone through addiction, as well as losing my dad. I have clinical depression. I was a single mom for five years before I met my husband. I became extremely obese, and five years ago weighed close to 400 pounds. In January of 2000 I underwent gastric bypass surgery and have maintained a 200+ pound weight loss. I went through my childhood and adolescense being ridiculed for my appearance. I really want to help people with obesity issues.
Currently, my most stressing issues seem to be dealing with my husbands despicable ex-wife. It's hard to deal with someone whom you have absolutely no respect for as a parent, or as a person for that matter. I have many concerns about making a blended family work, so that everyone is happy.
PHEW!!!
Well....I hope I will have many visitors to my column and can help each and every one of you! Chances are..whatever it is you're going through, I've probably been there. I hope to talk to you soon.
Brenda
Website: Help Me, Brenda!
E-mail: helpmebrenda@inbox.com
Gender: Female
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Occupation: student
Age: 34
Member Since: April 9, 2006
Answers: 193
Last Update: October 5, 2006
Visitors: 22474
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Hey I am really jealous of my best friend and recently I have become quite depressed about it and cutting out bits of skin and crying on a night. Her we go:
*We have similar personalities but its like whatever she says goes more than what I say
* She has a big immaculate house, a perfect family and generous parents and she doesn't act a bit spoilt at all but shes always complaing about her life to us.
* she can afford to go to posh gyms and restaurants and buy whatever she wants
* Shes really pretty, even though people say Im prettier, and she looks gorgeous in the simplest of outfits because she's born with a perfect tan and the perfect body.
* its all happening for her: boyfriend( that i fancy n could have had but was too shy to go for it wen she started likin him), partys, money, moving house, more friends
* shes buying all the clothes i want but she doesnt know it and i get depressed because people will think im copying her.
i could go on forever. Everyone likes me just as much as her its just its like she has more to offer and i know i seem like a depressed teenager but i need something to overcome this jealousy before i snap. luv rach xxx (link)
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Hi Rach
It's so easy to get caught up in envy...which to me is what you are feeling more so than jealousy.
There are ALWAYS going to be people that you feel have it better than you. There are ALWAYS going to be people that have more money, better looks, better boyfriends, but really.....who cares.
You said yourself, everyone likes you, you're pretty, and you can get the guy!! You need to look within yourself and realize how lucky YOU are.
There are probably several girls in your school that look at you and wish they had what you do.
When things seem to get you down, make a list of all the things you can be grateful for, and know that there are millions of people who have it far worse than you. Take care.
Brenda
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