Hi Everyone!!
My name is Brenda, and I'm 34 years young. I've been happily married (to the most amazing man) for three years, and we have three children. My daughter is nine years old (my husband has adopted her), my stepdaughter is eight, and my stepson is six. I am currently a full time college student taking Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management. I am also a volunteer with the Sexual Assault Victim Support Program with our Regional Health Authority.
My hope with this advice column is that I will be able to help people. I've been through alot in my life, and I decided that if I can help people in similar situations, then that could also help me heal, and move on. I won't go into great detail on here, but my motto has definitely become "what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger".
I was raped when I was 16, and then continually by an abusive boyfriend when I was 19-20. He was an alcoholic and abusive sexually, physically, and emotionally. He unsuccessfully (thank God) tried to kill me.
I've been cheated on...been the cheater, I've gone through addiction, as well as losing my dad. I have clinical depression. I was a single mom for five years before I met my husband. I became extremely obese, and five years ago weighed close to 400 pounds. In January of 2000 I underwent gastric bypass surgery and have maintained a 200+ pound weight loss. I went through my childhood and adolescense being ridiculed for my appearance. I really want to help people with obesity issues.
Currently, my most stressing issues seem to be dealing with my husbands despicable ex-wife. It's hard to deal with someone whom you have absolutely no respect for as a parent, or as a person for that matter. I have many concerns about making a blended family work, so that everyone is happy.
PHEW!!!
Well....I hope I will have many visitors to my column and can help each and every one of you! Chances are..whatever it is you're going through, I've probably been there. I hope to talk to you soon.
Brenda
Website: Help Me, Brenda!
E-mail: helpmebrenda@inbox.com
Gender: Female
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Occupation: student
Age: 34
Member Since: April 9, 2006
Answers: 193
Last Update: October 5, 2006
Visitors: 22499
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Ok well the last time i saw him was in january and its now April! ive not seen him so long now he went to hospital and i asked him what hospital he was in and he would not tell me so i guessed and i sent him a get well soon card because he said do not come and visit me then he said hes transfered to another hospital for surgery so i said what hospital i will come and visit you he never told me and it was obvious he never wanted me to see his family like his mum and dad. I had not seen him for a year before i saw him in january but i realised i like him alot in fact i actually thought id fallen for him but since he told me in a text hes ok i thought it was best to leave him alone so ive done so, and ive heard nothing from him not even hello!! It frustrates me that he never contacts me he sits on msn but set to away and im just waiting and waiting for him to say something to me. I mean when i saw him he told me he loves me but if you love someone you usually contact them. Also when i phoned him when he was in hospital as i cared about him he was pretty rude he said don't you think its abit late to be calling me? it was about 10.30 so what im wondering is what shall i do? leave him alone like im doing but not hearing even hello? Thank you in advance for your answers (link)
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Hello
I think the question you need to ask yourself is this....Do you want to commit your time, your feelings, and and your heartbreak to someone who doesn't want to be with you?
Just because he's not interested doesn't mean you won't find someone who is. You deserve to be with someone who loves you and wants to be with you always.
He doesn't deserve whatever energy you're putting into him. I think he's made it crystal clear that he's not interested. As hard as that is to hear, I think you already knew that......I also believe that you are an intelligent, caring person who will find someone deserving of your attention. Delete him from your contacts...and move on.
You're worth it girl!! Take care.
Brenda
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