Hi Everyone!!
My name is Brenda, and I'm 34 years young. I've been happily married (to the most amazing man) for three years, and we have three children. My daughter is nine years old (my husband has adopted her), my stepdaughter is eight, and my stepson is six. I am currently a full time college student taking Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management. I am also a volunteer with the Sexual Assault Victim Support Program with our Regional Health Authority.
My hope with this advice column is that I will be able to help people. I've been through alot in my life, and I decided that if I can help people in similar situations, then that could also help me heal, and move on. I won't go into great detail on here, but my motto has definitely become "what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger".
I was raped when I was 16, and then continually by an abusive boyfriend when I was 19-20. He was an alcoholic and abusive sexually, physically, and emotionally. He unsuccessfully (thank God) tried to kill me.
I've been cheated on...been the cheater, I've gone through addiction, as well as losing my dad. I have clinical depression. I was a single mom for five years before I met my husband. I became extremely obese, and five years ago weighed close to 400 pounds. In January of 2000 I underwent gastric bypass surgery and have maintained a 200+ pound weight loss. I went through my childhood and adolescense being ridiculed for my appearance. I really want to help people with obesity issues.
Currently, my most stressing issues seem to be dealing with my husbands despicable ex-wife. It's hard to deal with someone whom you have absolutely no respect for as a parent, or as a person for that matter. I have many concerns about making a blended family work, so that everyone is happy.
PHEW!!!
Well....I hope I will have many visitors to my column and can help each and every one of you! Chances are..whatever it is you're going through, I've probably been there. I hope to talk to you soon.
Brenda
Website: Help Me, Brenda!
E-mail: helpmebrenda@inbox.com
Gender: Female
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Occupation: student
Age: 34
Member Since: April 9, 2006
Answers: 193
Last Update: October 5, 2006
Visitors: 22497
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thistimeofyear
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ok so im going to be 18 in about 9 weeks time and im thinking all my friends well apart from a few have all had sex even ones who are younger than me am i getting to old and whats the right age to have sex?? I would have had sex but my bf says he loves me but i do not trust him its like when we are away from each other he never contacts me or cares about me my question is shall i wait until the right one comes along to lose my virginity? thank you in advance.x (link)
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Hi there,
Losing your virginity is something that you will never forget. It's a major milestone in a person's life, young or old.
When I read your question, I realized that you have pretty much answered it yourself. Your bf says he loves you, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that when you love someone, you make a point of talking to them as much as possible, you miss them like crazy, and you NEVER doubt if they care about you.
You're a smart girl and you know that you need to wait till the right person comes along. Sex is a very special, intimate thing, and you don't want to have it just for the sake of having it.
As far as all your friends go....just because they've made that step, doesn't mean your time is running out. You're young, intelligent, and you have plenty of time to make that step. Good luck to you and whatever you choose to do.
Just remember...think of yourself first, and don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. If he doesn't understand, then he's not the one for you.
Take care.
Brenda
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Rating: 5
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great advice and thank you so much its really helped me thank you and i will wait!
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